(Moaning, sighing, heavy breathing)
HOTLIPS HOOLIGAN: “Oh god – woo!” (laughter)
(squeals)
(cuts to after the scene)
VOC: “Okay, that was great. Um, I, I would like to do that one more time just because I wasn’t anticipating you to take all your clothes off- “ (laughter from the room) “which is great”
?: “It happens”
?: “I don’t think about that, technical things, I just think about the shot.”
“Okay”
(cuts to the interview)
Minax: “How’d you like the shoot today, Ham? D’you like it?
Ham Hawk: “I did – “
Minax: “What’d you like about it?”
Ham: “- I really enjoyed myself. I thought it was fun. Um, I totally got off. And, uh, yeah, it was my, you know, my first time, so it was very exciting”
HotLips Hooligan: “My first time too!”
Minax: “First times for both of you. Would you guys do it again?”
Hotlips: “Absolutely.”
Ham: “Yeah”
Hotlips “Now?”.
[laughter from all]
Ham: “yeah-yeah”
Hotlips: “What are you doing tomorrow?”
Ham (to Minax): “How’d you like the shoot?”
Minax: “I loved it. It was, uh, I, you know, I didn’t know I was going to come in so hard, um, but it felt right.”
Ham: “mmm-hmm”
Minax: “I dunno, I hopefully it filmed right and uh, uh it was fun. It was interesting coordinating all three of us, it’s bloody hot in here, and a lot of sweat, which was… is always sexy but then…”
Ham: “right”
Minax: “it’s always a little bit
Hotlips: “It’s dangerous, you could just slide right off”
Minax: “slide right off”
Hotlips: “you know there’s concrete down there.”
Minax: “And you know you’re being video’d, so it’s like, you know, how much, how much sweat do you really want to show?” (in a put-on voice) “Just a quick spray mist, please. Ooh I’m so hot!”
Ham: “Riiiight”.
[laughter]
Minax: “No it was great, great fun! And, uh – “
Hotlips: “Head got a little shiny, in the middle there…” (strokes Ham’s head)
Minax: (to Ham, rubbing Ham’s head) “I got to squirt on your head, that was fun…”
Ham Hawk: “That was a lot of fun.”
Minax: (to Hotlips): “I got to, to play with your titties, and uh, fuck with your pussy, and kiss, and uh..”
Hotlips: “Covered all the bases.”
Minax: “yeah” (then, to Ham) “And your ass got a good plowing.”
Ham: “It did. It really did. And I enjoyed it. And I got to, like, eat a lot of pussy, and a lot of ass, which makes me really happy, so…” [laughing]
Hotlips: “Seems like you were”.
Ham: “I know, right?”
[Cuts back scene footage]
Minax, while fucking Hotlips: “You’re spread wide open. Plant my tree”
Hotlips: “yeah. I didn’t know you had a tree…”
[laughter]
Minax: “How’s that?”
[Screams of pleasure, heavy breathing]
Ham: “Can we stop for a second?
Minax, turning to Ham: “Yeah”
Ham: “Oh, sorry. I can’t get my shoes or my pants off”
Minax: “I was wondering what that was…”
Hotlips: “Ham is hamstrung”
Minax: “Notice the pro wore a dress, with nothing on underneath.”
Ham: “I would never wear a dress…. With nothing on under.”
Minax: “You could wear baggy pants, man, that’s all I’m saying.”
Ham: “Okay”
Minax: “ Flip-flops, I dunno, something…”
[jumps ahead]
Minax: “Okay, you ready? Alright, here we go”
[back to interview]
Minax: “So did you have any… like what was your… tough time, or your…”
Hotlips: “Oh! Oh, there were, there were two. There was the one where I almost fell on my face out of the chair.”
Minax: “Oh, I didn’t see that. That’s scary.”
Hotlips: “That was, that was a little scary. Uh, you know, I don’t tend to do a lot of impact play on the face on concrete, you know, just not, not my thing.”
Minax: “Yeah”
Hotlips: “Uh, and then, you were pinching my nipples really hard!” (points at Minax)
Minax: “Yup, I forgot that it was uh, a no-nipple zone there.”
Hotlips: “It’s okay, I gave you the wink, and the nod, and we got it, you got it”
Minax: “We got it, we got it…It’s really hard for me to not pinch nipples. That’s definitely –“
Hotlips: “I’m sorry”
Minax: “- hard [harbourment?] of my own– “
Hotlips, referring to Ham’s nipples: “pinch these”.
Ham: “So that was like your challenge, huh?”
[laughter]
Minax “One of them”
Hotlips: “What was yours?”
Minax: “That was one of them…um, uh, well, I’m not used to being with people with hair, so when your hair was on my face, I was like, ‘her hair on my face!’ And uh, and uh, that wasn’t a big deal it was just kind of funny – “
Hotlips: “It’s like you’re fucking Cousin It!”
Minax: “The sweat, yeah the sweat, the hair, and uh, but no, I almost fell off the bed there, when I was fucking you in the ass” (points at Ham) “and not just fell off the bed but like sprang into the air and flew off the bed, like a somersault, I don’t even know how I caught myself – “
Ham: “Trampoline effect.”
Minax: “It was, it was somebody went boing and this bed is really bouncy, very bouncy, which is great, but…”
Ham: “I’ll tell you though, what was challenging for me was, uh, not being a pro, I didn’t like, un-, I didn’t realize that I was gonna have to take my pants off at some point, and then I totally could not get out of my pants.”
[laughter]
Hotlips: “Yeah, you had to take your boots off…”
Ham: “I had to take my boots off, then I had to take my pants…
Hotlips: “That was the time out”.
Ham: “I had to call time out, That was my red.”
[Cuts back to scene footage. Kissing sounds, giggling.]
Minax: “Shall we call in the maid?”
Hotlips: “Oh yes!”
[laughter]
[unintelligible]
VOC: “I’d give you a high five, but,,,”
[laughter]
Ham: “yeah, yeah yeah”
?: “A little wet right now.”
[unintelligibale]
Person walking by with camera: “Oh, You did great, you did great!”
[back to interview]
Ham, to Minax: “So, um, you’ve done porn before, right?”
Minax: “Yeahhhh, not a lot-a lot, but I started a long time ago, doing… I’ve only ever done really queer porn, or played a queer porn character in a straight porn”
Ham: “Mmm hmm”
Minax: “Um, and it’s been intermittent for about thirteen years, and… so yeah I have some experience…”
Ham: “Right, Why do you, why do you…”
Minax: “Well, then I’ve done my own domination porn, but that’s not as, not the same genre, I dunno. Yup”
Ham: “Right. So why do you continue doing it, and why did you do it today?”
Minax: “Why did I do it today? Well, that’s a good question!”
Ham: “Yeah!”
Minax: “Cause a really good friend asked me to do it, and I said ‘cool’, and we booked the shoot, and then he canceled.”
[laughter]
Ham: “Lucky me!!”
[laughter]
Minax: “and I called…”
Ham: “Thank you!”
Minax: “I called up my two dear other kinky friends…”
Hotlips: [inaudible – “two jitters”?]
Minax: “…I thought might want to and you both enthusiastically said yes.”
Ham: “I gotta write your friend a letter”.
Minax: “…both our friends.”
Hotlips: “We’ll thank him.”
Minax: “a letter of gratitude. But yeah, I actually had a lot of angst as you know, well I guess both of you know, cause I’ve been feeling, you know, too old for porn or whatever, so part of me feels like – “
Hotlips: “She’s younger than me by the way.”
Minax: “Whatever. Been around the block a few times!”
Hotlips to Ham: [?]
Minax: “Um, But yeah, so there’s part of me that’s like ‘Oh, This could be my last one. This could be the retirement film… shhhh. What about you Ham?”
Ham: “Well, this is my first time, and, um, I was also really nervous about it, but I was trying not to uh, really think about that too much, um, because one of the reasons I haven’t done porn before, I have been asked but you know I was kind of like, ‘who would want to see me on camera?’, blah blah blah blah blah, and then I just decided, like, you know, fuck it, I’m going to have a good time, and you know, once you put something out there in the world it’s out there in the world, you know, but there’s also a part of me that feels like I deserve to be seen, on film having, sex, and, you know, just like other people, you know” [laughter] “so I kind of like put my fears aside and like went for it.”
Minax: “So you’d do it again?”
Ham: “I would totally do it again, yes.”
Minax: “Like a Ham sandwich series”
[Ham and Hotlips laugh]
Minax: “…volumes 1 through … 12”
Hotlips: “You could have.. then you could have the Green Eggs and Ham….”
Ham, laughing: “yeah”
Hotlips: “Sort of the Doctor Seuss costumes…”
Minax: “The Curing of Ham…”
Ham: “Yeah…it could go on, yeah”
Hotlips, pointing at Ham: “I think you’re liking that idea.”
Ham: “I do”
Hotlips: “I would love to – “
Minax: “What about you, ‘Hotlips’?”
Hotlips: “Yes, first time for me too. Uh, and I’ve actually, uh, been on a lot of porn sets. Never as a performer, but back when I was a journalist, that’s one of the things I used to do.”
Minax: “Mmm-hmmm.”
Hotlips: “so, um, it always gives me the warm fuzzies, so when you asked I thought ‘oh that’s so awesome, I would love to!”.
Minax: “Before your, your big birthday, you said, oh now I get to shoot porn before – “
Hotlips: “Yeah, cause I’m – “
Minax: “Your birthday”
Hotlips “Cause I’m going to be 50 next month.”
Minax, clapping: “yay! 50!”
Ham: “yay, yup.”
Minax: “50’s the new 30!”
Hotlips laughs
Minax: “and, and, and, you know..”
Hotlips: “I’m not sure I wanna broadcast that!”
[laughter]
Ham: “You don’t have anything to be ashamed of”
Hotlips: “That’s true, that’s true…well I, I do, but not that.”
Ham: “okay. Well I would just like to say that the, I found the shoot to be easy going, and I found like you guys were really great to work with”
Hotlips: “Absolutely”.
Ham: “and um, you know, I really liked the flow of it and not being like sort of positioned and stopped and started and stuff like that and um uh if every porn shoot could be like this I would also be a happy camper” [laughter] “with my budding career, right?”
Hotlips: “yeah, yeah”
Ham: “ ‘every porn shoot’ ” (laughs.)
Hotlips: “I’d be right there with you.”
Minax: “Yeah I like shooting with Crashpad, because it is professional, easy, fun, good cause.”
Minax & Ham: “Thank you!”
VOC: “That was the hardest part!”
Minax: “Talk on camera? We’d just rather fuck…”
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