Transcription: @julianamarie

[2257 disclaimer; BTS Intro; setting up]
OLIVER: This one is amazing. Yay. Those are really, really good. Most of these I haven’t actually used in my pussy because I just haven’t done that much play-
KYLIE: (Unintelligible) too much with your pussy.
OLIVER: Well, but I could.
KYLIE: You could.
OLIVER: I could
KYLIE: Pussy’s always an option.
OLIVER: These are also all, except for the pink one, silicon, so they have to have condoms on them because I love my lube.
KYLIE: Mostly I’m focused on the sendoff party for (pats OLIVER’s chest)
OLIVER: I am.
KYLIE: Oh, this is the last shoot before they go away.
VOC: Surgery?
OLIVER: I’m getting top surgery-
VOC: Wow, that’s awesome
OLIVER: -in just a few weeks. Oh my god
KYLIE: So we’re thoroughly abusing and, and appreciating them before they go.
VOC: Wow, that’s big (Unintelligible)
OLIVER: It is.
VOC: Yeah
OLIVER: It really is
KYLIE: (Unintelligible)
OLIVER: and I think you were really mean to my boobies the first time we met, too.
KYLIE: Oh, no not me-
OLIVER: And I think you also-
KYLIE: Yes that one-
OLIVER: -that one caught your attention. I have this of course.
VOC: Maybe…
KYLIE: I like that. The world’s just not as happy without
VOC: We should plug that in over here –
VOC: Okay I think they’re ready
[Cut to shot out the door of KYLIE and OLIVER]
OLIVER: Are we good?
VOC: Yep, yeah.
CREWPERSON: So we’re gonna shut the door. Oh, sweet.
VOC: Yeah, I ran it actually, cool.
(Clapper claps)
[Cut to interview]
KYLIE: How did you enjoy the shoot today?
OLIVER: I had fun
KYLIE: Yeah.
OLIVER: It’s been along time since I’ve had my shit thoroughly fucked up, especially by someone who I knew that I can like, push like that little bit and that, that’s okay, like it’s not only safe, but like you really fucking love it when I just wait a little bit before complying, and that’s one of my favorite things to do and like, I got to do it with you today and that’s awesome. And did you have fun?
KYLIE: Oh, yeah, are you kidding me? Firstly I got to stick something inside of your cunt for the first time. Awesome. Awesome. Partially ‘cause you liked it so much, it was hilarious. I don’t know why you waited three years, you stupid fuck. (Laughs)
OLIVER: I forget! I’m like, I don’t, put things in pussy? Wait that’s confusing. Oh, wait, I love this!
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: I need to keep you around so that I remember I like that.
KYLIE: Secondly I think it’s a really great sendoff for these
OLIVER: Uh huh-
KYLIE: I mean these are, are, they’re ready to go, they’re
OLIVER: I know, like-
KYLIE: They’re packaged, they’re, they’re going to be sent off.
OLIVER: Especially I’m really amused that like my piercings came off while we were playing.
KYLIE: (Unintelligible)
OLIVER: ‘cause like I got them done years ago and like I orgasmed when the, and again, I’d forgotten that I was a masochist and so pftt! And then oh my god, I’m coming, and it was so embarrassing. But like before surgery, I have to take them out and I was like, these piercings are really important to me I, it feels weird to just like take them out as (Unintelligible)
KYLIE: Yeah
OLIVER: So this was perfect, and it just happened like, w-, you couldn’t have planned it better and it just happened perfectly. (Unintelligible)
KYLIE: You were so sweaty, everything was just coming off, was fun.
OLIVER: I, I’m slippery when wet apparently.
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: I think it might have gotten a little hot in here.
KYLIE: Oh, no.
OLIVER: A little bit.
KYLIE: I also really, um, I really enjoyed the fact that firstly, you do push me like, push my buttons and it makes me like even more grr face, grr, gonna hurt you, which it, which is good, because I mean, I, I do like hurting people, I, I love hurting people, hurting people is one of my more favorite fa-, pastimes, but it’s more fun to me when someone’s enjoying it and pushing me versus, (falsetto) oh, no, it hurts, oh no, I’m suffering, oh, no! If someone’s enjoying and having fun-
OLIVER: I’m like-
KYLIE: Just like, this sucks but I want it! It’s so much better.
OLIVER: I don’t want to, I want to, I don’t want to, I want to, I don’t want to, I want to.
KYLIE: Yeah.
OLIVER: Orgasm!
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: That’s basically how I work, and it, it’s so nice to like, play with someone who can understand that like, and especially obviously the safe words, but like that I can trust and that I can go to that kind of place where I can go and I can say no and I can say I don’t want to because that “I don’t want to” is the perfect first step to yes, I fucking want to.
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: It’s, it’s like saying never, then you know it’s gonna happen.
KYLIE: And, you know, not a lot of people are comfortable with or can play safely with consensual non-consent. And you know, a lot of people when they hear “no” want to push anyways, and don’t know-
OLIVER: And that’s not-
KYLIE: when no means no, and when no means yes.
OLIVER: And you and I have talked about that great length.
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: Like at great length, like and a lot of play started really, really tame, but like once that like trust was there, it just (rocket launch sound)
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: Which is really, really cool, and it’s, it’s one of those things that like you can talk about consent, and you can talk about like safe words and stuff, but it’s also like part of like a personal respect thing that’s just so hard to sometimes put a, your finger on. Um, but when it’s there, damn! You get to play with it.
KYLIE: Yeah.
OLIVER: Oh my god. I forget that pain makes me come so much.
KYLIE: You’re a dirty masochist, hilarious.
OLIVER: Well, it, ‘cause I spent so much time being a sadist that like, I, I just forget. Silly.
KYLIE: I, I don’t get that, it’s hilarious.
OLIVER: I know, but it, it made me so happy like, because I know my sensation is going to be so different after surgery to like to have this, it’s like (Unintelligible)
KYLIE: And it’s on video –
OLIVER: And it’s on video
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: Perfect.
[Cut to scene on bed]
OLIVER: Ah…, fuck.
KYLIE: Fuck? Fuck what?
OLIVER: Yes. Ma’am. Ahh.
KYLIE: Oh, oh, are these sensitive? Oh no. Well, if, in that case.
OLIVER: (Moans)
KYLIE: I could just help them off, would that, would that be beneficial (Unintelligible) would that be beneficial? Hands behind your head.
OLIVER: Ooh, ahh, yes ma’am.
KYLIE: Yeah.
OLIVER: Oh…
KYLIE: That could be beneficial to our current state of being. Sloppy, dirty fucking whore.
OLIVER: I’m the dirty fucking whore?
KYLIE: Yeah. Yeah, you are.
[Cut to another angle]
OLIVER: (Moaning) Fuck aw..
[Another cut]
OLIVER: Water, please. Break, please, for water.
KYLIE: Sure
OLIVER: Oohm… Thank you.
[Cut to interview]
OLIVER: Was there anything challenging about the shoot?
KYLIE: I, um… you and I have talked like we said earlier, I mean, we’ve talked at lengths on consent and on our limits and when you can push our limits, when you can’t push your limits, what are hard limits, so I mean I, I know where you’re coming from really well, so I don’t, well, I well I knocked the thing down. That
OLIVER: (Laughing) That was challenging.
KYLIE: That was a little bit of a challenge, ‘cause it was like oh crap, I’m breaking the room. (Laughter)
OLIVER: I like that-
KYLIE: Just blow (Unintelligible) you know I mean you just suck cock so well, I mean I just, I can’t even control the, you know, control myself from ripping things off walls.
OLIVER: I just, Hulk Smash!
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: Uh, I like the, when we were setting up we were talking about like you dragging me across the floor and there was a, like, okay, no, we can’t shoot on the floor because lighting is really hard on the floor, um, but then we ended up like smashing the walls, and it was so, like, we’re like oh yeah, we’ll be limited to the bed, that will be fine, and it wasn’t. Oops.
KYLIE: (Laughs) We need our space, our, our, our room to, to –
OLIVER: Padded cell—
KYLIE: Move and grow, padded cell would’ probably (Unintelligible)
OLIVER: One of the first ones I ever did was in like a, you know –
KYLIE: Fun
OLIVER: a fun episode –
KYLIE: How about you (Unintelligible)
OLIVER: Yeah, I would say running into stuff in the walls, oops. Um, it’s a, yeah, I, I think that the biggest thing I’m like, oh my gosh, I’m gonna take cock, I don’t do that very often, how’s that gonna go? And then the minute I’m there, I’m like, yes!
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: Which, I don’t know, again, I forget what I like.
KYLIE: What about like, from the play aspect, is there anything that was challenging?
OLIVER: Oh, it was fucking challenging, the whole thing is challenging, but like, if it’s not challenging, I get bored.
KYLIE: What –
OLIVER: I, I like it –
KYLIE: What do you think to yourself to like keep yourself going, like, what, what, what can, makes you want to push yourself?
OLIVER: I’m usually not even thinking that much, it’s just like, more!
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: Um, I don’t know, I guess like there’s that (Unintelligible) you get to a moment of pain where it’s like right at that edge and there’s like how much more can I take of this, you know, getting to that moment –
KYLIE: You just want to push yourself.
OLIVER: One of the things that like, especially now that I think of is like, this may be my last moment with nipple sensation, and then I’m like, go for it!
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: You know there’s, there’s a lot of like, last chance feelings that makes it like, it adds another context to it that like, it didn’t have before.
[Cut to shoot, close-up]
VOC: I’m read, are you ready Heidi?
VOC: Ready
VOC: All right.
OLIVER: All I can think of, please don’t fuck me, with that big old strap-on cock.
KYLIE: (Laughs). Oh, no!
[Cut to longer angle]
OLIVER: It’s been a while.
KYLIE: Dirty whore. (Laughs) Are we going?
OLIVER: Are we on frame?
VOC: Oh, I’m sorry.
(Laughter)
VOC: I think you guys were doing some chest slapping when we, when we –
KYLIE: Yeah okay, yeah.
VOC: so, just to kind of keep the
(Laughter)
KYLIE: I was just, I was waiting for action, we were just kind of chatting.
VOC: no-
[Cut to new angle]
KYLIE: Oh, Ollie’s excited. Oh no…
OLIVER: I promise I’m not a cocksucker.
KYLIE: Oh god. I’ve never heard that before from you.
OLIVER: MMM
[Cut]
OLIVER: (Moaning) Oh please, can I come, m please, can I come?
KYLIE: No.
OLIVER: …I you’re mean.
[KYLIE knocks picture off wall]
KYLIE: Ooh!
OLIVER: Yee-haw!
(Laughter)
OLIVER: Awesome (Unintelligible) wrecking the place.
KYLIE: (Unintelligible)
[Cut to interview]
OLIVER: Why do you like doing porn, are you going to keep doing porn?
KYLIE: Um, I love porn, I, I, as I said in my little write up thing before this, I’m a provert, I, really am, a profess- I’m a professional pervert, I love it, the, the dirty pervy sexy taboo is fun, and I like the fact that we’re creating a dialogue for people to look at things that they either have never done before, and I didn’t watch porn until I was 18. And a guy who I started dating in college, um, when we first started dating, he looked at me and he’s like, I need to tell you this. He’s like, I watch a lot of porn. I’m like, okay, he’s like, no, I watch a lot of porn. Like I have three terabytes of porn on my computer at home, and if someone wants to find something, no matter how obscure it is, I can find it for them. I’m like, oh, great. And so he got me into watching porn and what not, and I started kind of secretly watching kinky porn, and (Laughs) (Unintelligible) secretly watching kinky porn and it took me a little bit before I was able to like come out to him about it like, this is, this is what I find hot, this is, this is what I like, and actually, it was, um, I didn’t know what it was at first, but I was watching stuff (Unintelligible) and um.
OLIVER: Uh huh.
KYLIE: And um, yeah, and um, I just, I, I started getting really into it and actually, I noticed that a lot of people laugh because I don’t want a lot of kinky porn. I actually watch a lot of vanilla porn. But I watch vanilla porn that is inherently degrading, ‘cause like, you know, if there’s anything I’m fetishist about-
OLIVER: I’m always surprised at how kinky normal porn is, I’m like, wow, this shit is like really out there.
KYLIE: Really dirty, yeah, like, I like watching things that are inherently degrading, and I, I, I s- tend to self-identify with, with the bottom.
OLIVER: M-hmm.
KYLIE: So, you know, things that are really inherently degrading for the bottom? And that’s what I tend to watch, and it’s hilarious. But, um, what I really like about being in porn is that I have a lot of really strong opinions on sex and sexuality and they tend to be lot more modern and future looking –
OLIVER: M-hmm.
KYLIE: Than most people’s and I like the fact that when I’m working in porn, I can start to create dialogue on that. And I open people’s minds to that, it’s like how you were really excited about me topping you while you were fucking me.
OLIVER: Yes!
KYLIE: You know.
OLIVER: But that made me really happy especially um, because I’ve been really out about my transition and being FTM and my camming stuff, and one of the number one things people ask is they’re like, well are you still gonna fuck guys, are you still gonna bottom, and I’m in my head like, what surgery would make me not do, like there’s –
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: There’s a big like, going towards masculinity automatically means like, mmh, super top, and like while it’s true, I’ve actually become more comfortable as a top, you know, but becoming more comfortable in myself in this process, um, like bottom side of my is like, yep still here, like, so, it’s, it’s one of those things that, for me like, it’s been porn is something I love because I’m a huge exhibitionist, and I just really love being watched. I love showing off, it’s something I’ve done since I was like, I’ve been a kid of the stage for a, I just really, really love being observed, but like for me now, doing porn, it’s got another note to it because I’m presenting something that is a little bit different. I’m presenting a part of myself that I’m very vulnerable about, and it just feels really powerful, not just to show that to other people, that’s kind of a nice, like side effect, but for me to show that side of myself it like, it’s a language that I know very well for myself and have known for a very long time to tell myself that like, I’m okay, and I really fucking love it. Um, it’s cool if other people like it too, that’s nice, but like for me, I just really love being able to do it.
KYLIE: And I think a lot about being in porn is firstly, you know, in the back of my mind, I can always think about people are watching this. That’s hot.
OLIVER: Yeah, that’s also nice.
KYLIE: You know, and there’s the fact that I can think about art, or there’s the fact that when I go out, and I don’t, I, I, I come across, I read as the most heterosexual, normal, completely vanilla, you know, girl next door you ever met which is just, you know a bald-faced lie, but, so when I started telling, talking to people about what I do professionally, that I pro-domme, that I work in porn, etcetera, etcetera –
OLIVER: They’re like-
KYLIE: They’re like, oh, my god! But because I’m firstly, really good at explaining things and putting things in a context where people can understand them, and, and even relate, um, it makes people less, have less of a negative outlook on porn
OLIVER: M-hmm.
KYLIE: And it makes them more accepting of, of it in general and I’ve had people, um, at my (Unintelligible) work, who, I told them I’m in porn, they wrote down, you know, my, my, my name, and are, are watching me. You know.
OLIVER: Cool.
KYLIE: I’m like that’s awesome. Like, ‘cause it just, it personally, it’s really cool (Unintelligible) actually one girl I told, she’s like I’ve never watched porn before, but I’m going to now. Right?
OLIVER: I’m like –
KYLIE: I’m all, so cool!
OLIVER: (Unintelligible) Yeah, I can really relate to it, I feel like I definitely grew up in a very like quiet and repressed kind of household but like, once I found it, it was definitely kind of like, oh, boom, like just going full force.
KYLIE: Why’d you get into it?
OLIVER: Why did, why did I start (Unintelligible) into, I’d been doing performances for like a local swinger’s party for a long time, and it just felt really, really right, a and then, uh we started involving a camera in the mix. Um, somebody was like, hey, you know you can make some money, and I was like, well, we’re already taking pictures of ourselves, like why not so, and like it just, it felt, it just felt really, really right and really, really good. And for as long as it feels like that, I’ll keep doing it.
KYLIE: I um, actually there’s –
OLIVER: (Unintelligible) Little old man with like a… still makin’ porn.
KYLIE: I (Unintelligible)
OLIVER: Totally going to-
KYLIE: Some kinky porn, and my (Unintelligible) were talking about it, and he’s like well, Kylie you have no issues with the industry, in fact you know, you’re rather vehemently for it, like why don’t you do it? I’m like, I don’t know. So we got a hold of my absolutely favorite love her to death photography, Kaylie Shawn (phonetic) I, I don’t know if you’ve met her?
OLIVER: No, I don’t think so-
KYLIE: Her work is gorgeous, and um, she took a few shot of me and we submitted them, and just down the rabbit hole I went.
OLIVER: Yeah, I really like that a lot of the stuff I started with was shot by really close friends, and um, like a lot who are also really, really queer, um, and a lot of it started about the same time that I started being more open about my gender and stuff, um, and so, and they were all very similar kinds of performers, they’re all like circus freaks and like it, it just felt really, I never felt like I had to fit myself into a box. And every once in a while, when I’ve tried shooting for someone else, like, they’ll say, okay it’s this kind of a box, and I’ll find a way to like, fit into it, but then once I’m there, I’m just like (Unintelligible) box gone, you know, like I’ve been very lucky so far in that I’ve been able to be very open and be myself a lot. Um, I hate that that seems a rare thing.
KYLIE: It is, I mean, I, I, I’ve had instances where I’ve told people that there’s you know, certain things I’m not comfortable with or certain things I don’t want to do, and they look at me like I have two heads, like as if that the was the only thing they wanted to do so, obviously I am worthless.
OLIVER: Like that’s like going to a restaurant or something and they’re like, we’re only serving this food.
KYLIE: So I mean when I heard that CrashPad wanted to work with us, I was like, oh my god, we can do what we want, now!
OLIVER: I remember you and I just sending like texts back and forth that was nothing but like, screaming, like, aaaaaaaaa! Exclamation pointtttts!! Like for weeks!
KYLIE: Yeah! Yeah, it was pretty dorky, yeah. We were, we were really excited, that, oh, my god I’m so happy I am, this is the best shoot I have ever had.
OLIVER: Yeah, easily. Fuck, that was, I came really, really, and was trying really hard not to.
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: Really, really hard not to. But like pussy’s like, come now. You should come now.
KYLIE: (Laughs)
OLIVER: Oh, damn. I really fucking love the pain, too. Damn. Damn good
KYLIE: Great shoot.
OLIVER: Yeah, I’m, I’m CrashPad is one of the first places where I saw other like queer performers, and it was really amazing for me to get to see that because like, even though it was around like a lot of queer people, like they weren’t necessarily sex positive, like even if they were okay with queerness, it was, um, so, seeing performers who look like me and had sex like I wanted to have sex, um, was just like, it- you’re touching your pussy.
KYLIE: (Laughs) No I was fiddling with my corset, but I could do that.
OLIVER: M-hmm. Oh, it was just, it was just really, really powerful for me. Um, it was one of the very first places where I kind of like the oh, okay, like accepting myself and like, not just like, okay this is acceptable, but really liking it. Like in the it started with CrashPad. (Laughs)
KYLIE: One of the things that actually for me is that, that made coming here all the more enticing, ‘cause this is the first shoot, as I was telling you, this is the first shoot I’ve done in the last, a little over a year, because I’ve had some really bad physical problems.
OLIVER: M-hmm.
KYLIE: And primarily it was the fact that there… I always tell people who want to come into sex work that you have to decide what you are and are not okay with, and never renegotiate that for anybody. Anybody, no matter how much money they throw at you. You want to renegotiate that for yourself, on your own, unrelated to it, you can, but never renegotiate that for someone, ‘cause, then, that’s the instant that you’re going to not like what you do. And… so I was like CrashPad wants to work with us? Really? That’s awesome, because we can do what we want, how we want, and not have to worry about exactly what their structure or specific style is –
OLIVER: Yeah, we pretty much just went, and like, it’s almost exactly the same to like, you know every time we’ve played so far, except maybe a bit more intense ‘cause like top surgery’s coming up and people are looking, but like, it’s, it’s kind of, it’s, this is how we play.
KYLIE: And it’s nice because then you, as, as I was talking to you about if I don’t, if my energy doesn’t click with someone’s, if I don’t –
OLIVER: It just doesn’t –
KYLIE: It doesn’t work, it doesn’t, and I don’t like the fact that a lot of sites, a lot of companies really kind of push that, you know we booked for you for this shoot with this person, and it’s like, well, I, especially BDSM, you know, it’s a lot more personal, it’s a lot more emotionally charged. And if I can’t connect with you on that kind of level, then the rest of it’s not going to fall into place.
OLIVER: You know exactly how my own slut-shaming works. You know exactly how that works, how you’re going to like push me to come and then mock me for being about to come, the, the greedy little cocksucker, and the, the ah, just perfect, so, so, fucking perfect, in ways that like having played with other people, even though there are tops who can like hit my masochist button similarly, um, like, but not understand that head stuff. I’ve got so much head stuff, and it’s so nice to have someone like have the opportunity to get to play with it.
KYLIE: It’s, everything’s always better, and people who watch it always know that, they always like things better when people are actually into it and actually connecting.
OLIVER: It’s sexier. It’s so much sexier. Oh, my, is, it, yes.
KYLIE: And so we got to do that.
OLIVER: So (Unintelligible)
KYLIE: And (Unintelligible) that we got to do that.
OLIVER: Mmm…
KYLIE: Awesome. Best shoot ever. Seriously
OLIVER: (Unintelligible) so spoiled now.
KYLIE: I know, right?
[Fades out.]
[2257 disclaimer]