Transcription: Haley Gilchrist

Slide: All performers were 18 years of age or older at time of the production, June 15th 2013, 06/15/2013. All documentation per 18 USC 2257 is maintained by the custodian of records L. Houston, 1458 Unit B7 San Bruno Ave., San Francisco Ca, 94110. Not to be viewed by minors.

Scene: opens to TINA, ANDRE, and crew preparing to shoot. ANDRE and CREW are goofing around.
TINA: Shine, do you want me to do the whole walk around and then, like, to the bed? Or—
SHINE: It’s kind of, like, up to you, if we do something like, you do a walk around, do like a little intimidation in front of her, I don’t know, maybe you want to get her on the bed? And then one of us will probably roll right there, like one of us can get the shot of you getting the Hitachi and coming back?
TINA: I’ll probably, like, do the stalking, get her on the bed, and then, like, grab the things, and, like, start, like, throwing them on the bed. Kind of stuff, so yeah, just—I’ll keep going ‘til you tell me to stop.
SHINE: Okay. Awesome.

Cuts to TINA and ANDRE in bed.
ANDRE: (laughing)
CREW: Hold on for a second.
TINA: (to ANDRE) Can’t! Help! Yourself!
(laughing)

Cuts to TINA and ANDRE preparing for a scene.
TINA: So, like, if I’m here—yeah? Okay.
ANDRE: (laughing)
Cuts to TINA and ANDRE behind the scenes.
TINA: Hi, Andre.
ANDRE: Hi, Tina. (laughs)
TINA : Um, I feel, I feel like I’ve seen you today already. How was the shoot today for you?
ANDRE: It was great, it was really awesome.
TINA: Yeah?
ANDRE: Yeah, it actually—it might be—uhh, don’t quote me on this, it might be my favorite shoot that I’ve done so far.
TINA: ‘Cause it was easy?
ANDRE: ‘Cause it didn’t feel like a shoot! It didn’t.
TINA: That’s great. That’s great. Um, tell me more.
ANDRE: Well, um, I don’t know, it felt like we had total freedom to have, like, sexy times like we normally do, and there weren’t like fluffers, like, reaching their hands in, and, like, nothing, like, I love fluffers, fluffers are great, but, like, you know, I’m, like in the middle of coming, I don’t want, like, a fluffer to reach in with a towel and a bright light and make sure they get, you know, whatever. Anyway, it felt very natural.
TINA: Cool. You’re in California now.
ANDRE: I am in California now.
TINA: Where we do it all—all—all naturel.
ANDRE: (laughs) And how about you, how did you like the shoot today? (laughs) Terrible time.
TINA: Uh, I loved it. I love fucking you.
ANDRE: I noticed. Yeah.
TINA: Yeah.
ANDRE: Yeah. It’s all right.
TINA: And I—And we. It’s really, it is quite beautiful to have, um, a, uh, ongoing relationship of uh, being able to encourage, for better or for worse, our respective hammy, showoff personalities (ANDRE: It’s true.), and we do that really well and it’s a great, uh, outlet.
ANDRE: You didn’t say diva. You can, because I feel like it’s a very—yeah.
TINA: We can just basically, yeah. Diva all up on each other. Yeah. Yeah.
ANDRE: (laughs)

Cuts to ANDRE in bed
ANDRE: We’re good for talking at this point, too, but just—(laughs)
(indistinct)

Cuts to ANDRE sitting up in bed
TINA, Offscreen: See, I don’t even have to talk!
ANDRE: Also, we are so past serious mode.
TINA: Um, so you are—
ANDRE: They’re gonna film me putting a new black condom—
CREW: Okay. I am ready when you are.
TINA: Do you want me—so, um, tell me where you want me.
ANDRE: (giggles)
CREW: Umm
TINA: Sleazy uncle—
(indistinct)
Shot of a pile of toys on the bed.

Cuts to a scene of porn: (Hitachi buzzing)
ANDRE: (moaning) (laughing)
TINA: (checks on ANDRE)
ANDRE: Yeah, yeah.

Cuts to behind the scenes.
ANDRE: What was challenging about the shoot for you today, if anything at all?
TINA: God, um…
ANDRE: (laughs) Your face, right now, is so expressive.
TINA: Getting up early.
ANDRE: (laughs)
TINA: I would never normally get up this early even to fuck you.
ANDRE: And you’re drinking coffee right now, aren’t you? Because, yeah. (laughs) I’m hydrating myself and you’re caffeinating.
TINA: That was basically it, I can’t—Oh! Well, the powers that be, um, gave us the little improv-prompt challenge of not talking.
ANDRE: Yeah.
TINA: And actually, I guess that’s a testament to the fact that it—
ANDRE: Who would do such a thing? Who would tell two—
TINA: Someone really sadistic.
ANDRE: — wonderful, articulate people like ourselves to not talk? It’s so strange.
TINA: Well, it is kind of a—it’s our shtick, it’s our shtick, right? So it’s our comfort zone, whether we’re at a leather event, or, like, playing in public, or—
ANDRE: We’re chatty.
TINA: —or behind closed doors, or on camera, or onstage, or—
ANDRE: Yeah, yeah yeah, we get it.
(both laugh)
TINA: or upside down, hanging from the rafters. (laughs) We do—it’s something—it’s a dynamic that I really love with you because we really can get into that and volley and smack talk and it definitely, like, gives me a boner and I really enjoy it, and— but I really like a challenge also, so—a theatrical challenge! And I like to prove, (hoarse voice) “oh, everybody thinks that I can’t can’t talk, but I can do it!” And I did it! I totaled maybe halfway through, but—
ANDRE: You did, but it’s fine.
TINA: We mostly didn’t talk, though. It was nice.
ANDRE: Yeah.
TINA: To eyeball fuck you.
ANDRE: (laughs) (indistinct) I need to stop laughing. My natural state, as you know, is laughter, so I have to not talk or be serious, or—
TINA: You were very serious.
ANDRE: Thank you so much, thank you. I was really proud of myself.
TINA: So what was challenging about it for you?
ANDRE: You know, I’d say the not talking, but actually I didn’t even think about that. I think the thing for me was trying to get out of my own head because I’m, as you know, I’m on my period right now and right now, somehow and somewhere, there are two little sponges floating around inside of me that I’m going to (laughing) have you pull out in a little bit.
TINA: I know right where I left them.
ANDRE: I know, you’re a professional.
TINA: I like—(clicking noises)
ANDRE: So I love having bloody sex, and I wish I could have bloody sex on camera, and one day I will, it’s a goal of mine. But until then I will be concerned about bleeding on camera, and so that was my little head thing that I had to keep pushing out. And we have, like, all these lovely black, absorbable things. So, that was it! That was my challenge.
TINA: You did a great job, yeah.

Cuts to ANDRE and TINA in bed.
ANDRE: See what I mean? (laughs)
TINA: What are you asking me?
ANDRE: Hey! Hey, orgasm brain!
TINA: Why don’t we switch condoms?
ANDRE: Yeah.
TINA: Hi!
ANDRE: Hi!
TINA: Sorry, I tossed the glove on the floor like a heathen!
(laughing)
TINA: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10! ??? Ugh, lesbian fingernails!
ANDRE: Can I help you with something?
TINA: A lesbian gave me these fingernails.
CREW: A lesbian gave you those fingernails?
TINA: In New York you can buy anything on the street.
ANDRE: By the way, you’re—
TINA: I can’t take this off!
ANDRE: the fact that you’re wearing your partner’s underwear right now makes me really happy. (laughs)

Cut to ANDRE and TINA in bed preparing for a scene
CREW: There! Yes, yes. That direction.
ANDRE: You realize you’re going to have to like reach up in me and find those makeup sponges there, right?
TINA: I can’t wait. (ANDRE laughs) I can’t wait.
ANDRE: ‘Cause I’m pretty sure they’re, like, up here.
TINA: It’s my favorite hobby. No, I know right where I left them.
ANDRE: ??? (laughs)
TINA:
OFFSCREEN: We’ll see what’s gonna happen. Okay, start out there and see what’s gonna happen.

Cut to ANDRE and TINA starting a new scene
OFFSCREEN: We’re good. Okay, when you’re ready.
ANDRE: Hi.
ANDRE and TINA: (quiet laughter)

Cut to a scene of porn: (vibrator buzzing) (moaning)
ANDRE: Stop?
TINA: Yes, please.

Cut to another scene of porn:
TINA: (moans)
ANDRE: Hey, I forgot how big it was. (laughs)
TINA: (sighs)
ANDRE: You did such a good job.
TINA: Oh, you did such a good job.
ANDRE: (laughs)
TINA: You’re doing a great job.
ANDRE: (laughs) You wanna hold?
TINA: Yeah. Do you get-how-how-what time are we at?
SHINE: Pretty good.
ANDRE: Yeah, how-how much more time?
SHINE: I mean, that’s it-
TINA: Yeah.
SHINE: -that can be ??? ‘cause it’s already 12:21-
ANDRE: Okay.
SHINE: -and we still have to do the post-sex interview.
ANDRE and TINA: Yeah. Yeah.
ANDRE: I just-
TINA: Yeah, I feel like-I feel like we both came really fast.
ANDRE and TINA: (laugh)
ANDRE: We actually-wait. No, really, we did. Like really. (laughs) I think she likes that toy! I think you like that toy.
TINA: I like that toy.
ANDRE: I think you do.
TINA: I knew I would.
ANDRE: It’s so funny, as soon as it was in, I seriously forgot how much length there is to it, so I was like- I wanted to, like, push it deeper, ‘cause I’m like “That’s so shallow, that’s so weird.” and then I took it out and I was like “Oh, yeah, no it’s not!” .(offscreen laughter) It is not.
TINA: mm-hmm
SHINE: Awesome.
ANDRE: Awesome. Umm, do you want to do more, like, “aww”, like after-stuff?
SHINE: No, that was like a nice little cool-down right there like seriously.
ANDRE: Cool!

Cut to ANDRE and TINA behind the scenes
TINA: Umm, so have you done this kind of thing before?
ANDRE: (laughs) Umm-
TINA: Come here often?
ANDRE: Are you talking about you or are you talking about porn?
TINA: Have you done (ANDRE joins) this kind of thing before?
ANDRE: Um. Uhh, yes I have! Why, yes, I have. I’ve-both, yes. I’ve done you before and I’ve done porn before, yeah, and I continue to do porn.
TINA: Why on Earth (ANDRE gasps) would you continue to do, um, do that?
ANDRE: Um, well I-
TINA: No, me, I- ???
ANDRE: (laughs) ??? just trade around, um. I (laughs) I, uh. I swear you have more good qualities than your ass, I promise. I just like it. Um, I tangent. I do porn, I got into porn rather recently, a little less than a year ago, so I’m still, like, a newbie. Um, but the reason I got into porn, uh, is twofold. I um have always been really self-conscious about the way that my vulva looks, and I didn’t see it like, accurately or authentically represented in all the porn I watched—and I watch a lot of porn—from when I was like 13 on, and I was like, “Hey, there are no vaginas that look like mine in the porn, my vagina must have something wrong with it” and, uh, and then I started, like, you know, I grew up and then I started having, like, kinky, like, gender fucky, you know, like, queer, amazing sex, and I was like, “Oh, I don’t really see this either”, and then I’m like “I want to, like, put that out there! I want to put my vagina out there into the world.” (laughs)
TINA: And it is so beautiful.
ANDRE: Thank you!
TINA: And we love having it in the world.
ANDRE: I know! And I love it too, now, it’s great. It’s done, um, sex work has done, like, fucking—more therapy for me than anything else in my whole life, including and mostly surrounding my, like, body image, so that is why I keep doing it, ‘cause it’s therapeutic and people need to see their own bodies and their own sex reflected back at them.
TINA: That’s fucking beautiful.
ANDRE: Thank you. And you? (laughs) Have you done this kind of thing before?
TINA: I have, you know, ‘cause, you know-it’s nice, I definitely got started, um, uh, here, uh, at the Crashpad, and like with the, uh, San Francisco queer porn and, uh, kinky porn, uh, world, and, um,
ANDRE: ???
TINA: it was like, uh, it-and it was a very big part of my life for a while, and then I moved to the east coast and, um, I got an MFA and, uh, continued—definitely continued doing sex work and also continued doing a little bit of, uh, porn when people, you know, wanted to, like, call me in.
ANDRE: Weird.
TINA: But, um, uh, sort of starting to feel like maybe I was, like, uh, uh, like weaning-weaning myself of it, not necessarily feeling like “thank you, now I can top you from both hands”
ANDRE: (laughs) ???
TINA: Uh, not ever necessarily feeling the need to be like “I’m retired” um, but, uh, but maybe feeling like there’s-I know a lot of people who are really fucking good at it and that maybe like I should focus on other things ‘cause it’s like if I’m gonna do something I need to, like, be the best. Um, but it’s actually really been nice lately, like, people-
ANDRE: Yeah.
TINA: People have been like-
ANDRE: You kind of like, came back from the brink of retirement. Like, not even retirement, but like-
TINA: Supply and demand, you know!
ANDRE: (laughs) ???
TINA: But no, it’s-it’s nice and I actually feel like I’ve had lots of awesome experiences, sexual and otherwise, um, uh, since I started that have made me feel more confident, kind of like being on camera is, like, like having sex on camera is more second nature now than it was when we started, like, what do you know? Um,
ANDRE: (laughs)
TINA: And, uh, and so yeah. I feel like, um, I feel like I can, uh, bring it more now and it’s a nice feeling, it’s nice to think that I could, like, keep doing it for as long as people want to see my-
ANDRE: Forever.
TINA: -fabulous naked ass. (laughs)
ANDRE: You will come to write a shoot with me in, like, 30 years.
TINA: Great! Well, it’s nice that we met through, uh, kinky communities in the, uh, east coast-
ANDRE: Yeah.
TINA: -which was not strictly about sex work, uh, per se, but we definitely connected as, like, kinky perverts who are also sex workers.
ANDRE: mm-hmm.
TINA: Um, connected! (laughs)
ANDRE: (laughs) Yes, that’s cute, that’s cute.
TINA: And, uh, connected!
ANDRE: We connected really well. I actually-that was- oh wait, no, I can get into a conversation about that a bit later.(laughs) That was the event that I had to top the whole event because the electricity was out-
TINA: Right. Oh, you poor thing, yeah-
ANDRE: and ???
TINA: But then we got-then the electricity came back.
ANDRE: That’s great.
TINA: Anyway, so-
ANDRE: Anyway- Sorry, Crashpad!
TINA: And we met when you came to my dirty talk class.
ANDRE: That’s true, that’s true. Yeah.
TINA: Yeah, so-
ANDRE: Anything I want to say about today, um, I don’t know, it was really-it was really, really lovely, like this experience was how I wish I could shoot all the porn that I do and I try every shoot that I-that I’m part of that I make a very conscious decision to be a part of that shoot and I, it’s usually me approaching directors and asking if I couldn’t do it because of the way that they treat the performers because of, like, the element of choice the performers have over what happens in the scene, so it’s very authentic, et cetera, et cetera. Um, but I don’t- I- as you can imagine, I don’t shoot as much as I could because, um, that’s not, unfortunately, how most people produce and direct porn, so, uh, it was really wonderful to, like, be here, in this bedroom, uh, this bedroom, um, and, uh, and just, like, fuck like I wanna fuck, like that was just- and then it was like, done, like, I was like, “oh, we should do more things” and they were, like, “no, you-you’re done! You fucked!” and I’m like “You’re right! I did, actually! God!” (laughs)
TINA: I-I kinda feel like-like uh, I like discovered you, like, and- on the east coast, and, like, sent you here, and I’m like, setting you free, to like, like running-
ANDRE: Oh, that’s cute. It’s like you’re trying to take credit for this. (laughs)
TINA: No! No, I just feel like you’re running-running-running free in the slutty fields –
ANDRE: I am
TINA: – of sluttery and making me proud.
ANDRE: Thank you. (laughing)
TINA: So I can-I can retire into my study and just be a old queen
ANDRE: I don’t even know what to say to that. (laughs)
TINA: (laughs)
ANDRE: ??? I’m done. That’s all I say to that.
TINA: Fin!
ANDRE: Fin! Fin.
OFFSCREEN : Awesome.
ANDRE : Is that it ? (laughs) I’m gonna sit here and just bullshit for a while, but I- (laughs)

Slide: All performers were 18 years of age or older at time of the production, June 15th 2013, 06/15/2013. All documentation per 18 USC 2257 is maintained by the custodian of records L. Houston, 1458 Unit B7 San Bruno Ave., San Francisco Ca, 94110. Not to be viewed by minors.