Alarm clock sounds. Two clicks as the fingers touch the trackpad of the laptop.
Footsteps, and a bang as the door is kicked shut.
DYLAN: Over there! … Stand up. … See this pretty doll mannequin?
DIA: Mmhmm.
DYLAN: I want you to show me how you’re going to kiss me on her.
DYLAN: get a nice fistful of hair, whatever, around to here, bring her up on her knee
DIRECTOR: can I see you on your knees?
[squeaking noise as DIA kneels on the floor bucking her hips]
DIRECTOR: *laughs* and she won’t be making that noise.
DIA: *makes chimp noises*
DYLAN: *laughs* oh, Di!
DIA: it’s animal noise awareness week *more chimp noises*
DYLAN: is this consensual?
DIRECTOR: can mannequins give consent?
DYLAN: is this mannequin consenting to this behavior? … Sinead, are you okay? I just wanna check in.
DIA, as mannequin: I’ll be okay!
DIA: Purrr! Miaow. Purrrrr.
DYLAN: hi Dia.
DIA: hi Dylan.
DYLAN: so, this is, this is Sinead. Have you met Sinead?
DIA, as mannequin: hello everyone, I’m Sinead.
DYLAN: Sinead and I live in Austin, and she was joining us today. How did you feel about that?
DIA: I like kissing a mannequin. I never thought I’d say that.
DYLAN: that was really hot.
DIA: yeah.
DYLAN: it worked out really well for me, it got me really turned on watching you which was kinda the point I guess.
DIA: oh good. It’s like making out with your hand. You know when you practice… *demonstrates*
DYLAN: you know I never did that?
DIA: no?
DYLAN: but it is kinda hot too.
DIA: did you ever do that thing when you were little with another girl? You know when you put your hand on your mouth like this…
DYLAN: and then do that?
DIA: …and you’re pretend kissing?
DYLAN: no, but there were little boys on the school yard that, they would run up and instead of kissing girls they would do that *covers mouth* they’d kiss their hand and then they’d run away, ‘cos boys are stupid. Erm, SO, did you have a good time today?
DIA: yeah!
DYLAN: yeah?
DIA: you were one of my first girl/girl scenes a couple of years ago.
DYLAN: well, this was my first time actually, ever, on camera or anything. I’ve never had sex before actually.
DIA: check it out, I actually have a size foot shoe.
DYLAN: size foot shoe?
DIA: I mean a shoe five size…
DYLAN: a five, five foot shoe?
DIA: so, erm, yeah, so the spoonerisms means that I was fucked very well and sometimes when I have an orgasm it makes me cry, so it made me cry.
DYLAN: yeah?!
DIA: yeah.
DYLAN: I did miss you cry but I really liked the noises that you were making cos when you rode it screaming I felt really great about that.
DIA: mmhmm!
DYLAN: I was like “yeahh! She’s screaming!”
DIA: it was goooood.
DYLAN: especially with the buttplug in, and then THIS. Do you wanna introduce?
DIA: this is Dorothy, and Dorothy has been with me a coupla years now
DYLAN: Dorothy is red and sparkly with glitter, which is great, and it’s very hot. I like glitter. I was pleased to meet Dorothy.
DIA, as the dildo: I’m pleased to meet you Dylan.
DYLAN: for my first time having sex, I’m very happy that I could use Dorothy.
DIA: you know, I think that you should have a Dorothy in your life.
DYLAN: I think so too. I think I should have a Sinead in my life.
DIA: the hands!
DYLAN: yeah, so, did you know that I was stroking you with Sinead’s arm? She wanted me to borrow it so I could spank your ass.
DIA: I did, at one point, but, I was, you could have kept doing that, it was nice, weird.
DYLAN: did it feel strange?
DIA: yeah, it was very strange and pervy and I’m strange and pervy, so.
DYLAN: I’m strange and pervy too.
DIA: yeah.
DYLAN: and even though I’ve never had sex before, I thought it was a good idea. I thought that, y’know, we could bring it in and do that. I have all these ideas cos I’ve been, y’know, thinking about it for a really long time.
DIA: and yeah, your first time losing your virginity…
DYLAN: I’ve been planning it for a really long time obviously, y’know, lots of thought.
DIA: years and years.
DYLAN: yeah. So, I’m glad you liked it. Maybe, erm, you can spank me with Sinead’s arm, if she consents to that. You can do that sometime in future.
DIA, as mannequin: okay, but you’re missing hot dog.
DYLAN: hot dogs! Sausages. Erm, okay, so, what was your favourite part, about today? What did you like the most, other than, er Dorothy?
DIA: erm, I dunno, of course I loved everything, but I was just really curious about what you were gonna do to me. It was full of surprises, but it was so sensual and fun. I dunno about you, well, I’m sorry, you’ve never shot before or had sex, but the stuff that you had seen…
DYLAN: I’ve seen a lot of porn.
DIA: when you get into a zone, you can be shooting all day, and I thought “oh, it’s over?”
DYLAN: Aaww!
DIA: and you can keep starting, like I wanna start doing more stuff to you cos you made me cum a lot.
DYLAN: I know, but see, what I was thinking today about, you know, what do I want my first time having sex to be like. I thought, I just really want to play around with the idea and do all sorts of terrible things to her and, just, I don’t even really want it to be about me cos I’m new to this, so I have to go slow, and I thought I don’t want it to be about me, I wanna give you all the pleasure, and then I wanna sit on your face. So, really, today was perfect for me…
DIA: oh, okay!
DYLAN: cos it was exactly what I wanted. It felt very selfish, my orgasm was all about the selfish, it was like yeah, now I’m going to sit on your face and then just… buzz one out.
DIA: that was great though
DYLAN: yah
DIA: and you kept your pants on most of the time.
DYLAN: I kept my boots on the whole time too.
DIA: wow.
DYLAN: boooots!
DIA: those are nice boots.
DYLAN: my sexy purple Shay Kicker boots.
DIA: I like those.
DYLAN: also in some of the, y’know, porn that I watch, I find them attractive to the shoes staying on>
DIA: yeah?
DYLAN: yah, and this also this person, this person, do you know Cheyenne Louise Houston? Actually er, Sinead’s sister, and er, legs, shoes on, in porn, I’ve heard.
DIA: really?
DYLAN: yah
DIA: I like shoes on, but if the socks are on and they’re dirty, that, that’s a turn-off.
DYLAN: I’m not wearing any socks, is that bad?
DIA: no, it’s fine.
DYLAN: but I figured this, shoes should stay on the whole time.
DIA: I like that.
Buzzing, gasps and moans in next scene as DYLAN rides DIA’s face whilst using a Hitachi Magic Wand.
DYLAN: …a minute at all. And yet, this is what I really wanna be doing right now!
DIA: good! It’s… it’s real.
DIRECTOR: you should totally do what you wanna do, that’s awesome.
DYLAN: you have the sweetest look on your face too.
DIA: yeah?
DYLAN: you’re looking at me like, oh that’s so nice!
DIA: *laughs*
DYLAN: you know what I mean, like aawwww! I love it!
DIA: yeah!
DYLAN: okay, so you’re face down and I’m giving this.
DYLAN: oh, was there anything that you found challenging today?
DIA: erm, honestly, it was just the right amount of everything, y’know?
DYLAN: I liked the kissing.
DIA: yeah, me too.
DYLAN: I found it mildly challenging when the couch broke.
DIA: oh yeah, that’s right.
DYLAN: cos it’s a futon, and…
DIA: … it’s not a couch.
DYLAN: and I was trying to dominate you, onto the couch, and then your lovely upper half just… whoooop, right onto, er, it just turned right into a bed.
DIA: and then we had gigglefest.
DYLAN: we did, and I had to change my plans and move you to the bed, which was fine.
DIA: damn you futon.
DYLAN: you’re a great kisser.
DIA: thanks, I like making out.
DYLAN: yeah? We should do that again.
DIA: yeah? Okay.
DIA moans, before laughing as futon collapses.
UNKNOWN: This is what I neeeeded, I need a hot dog, I need a hot dog to bring me to life. Where’s the couch? Hot dog, ohhh.
DYLAN: *laughs*
UNKNOWN:look at the way she’s holding it just for you.
DIA: come here, I’m almost alive, it’s just this one arm. I need another hot dog! I need one more hot dog, look! I mean, this doesn’t look right, having one… please, pull the sausage, it might work… AAARRGGHH! *laughs* that’s it!
DYLAN: bad girl!
DYLAN: Dia, so, why do you do porn? Tell me why you do porn.
DIA: why do I do porn? Well… for one, I started porn right after I turned 30…
DYLAN: yeahhh.
DIA: and I’m 32, so…
DYLAN: hot!
DIA: it’s such a contrast cos people usually start early on, but developmentally, I was not in the same mindset as I was when I was 18 or 20 years old.
DYLAN: totally, I can see that
DIA: so when I started getting in the business, it was all baby steps and things that I was doing, and it’s all been a sexual exploration and keeping it as real as possible and I’m grateful since there’s girls, like you potentially, since this is your first time, that are all very compatible and just want to love on each other…
DYLAN: I like girls.
DIA: I like girls too.
DYLAN: yah.
DIA: it’s that friendship and sexual fun thing, but I just feel like, it’s just part of my being and I have to have sex in public, and shoot it, and…
DYLAN: so you’re an exhibitionist?
DIA: yeah.
DYLAN: yeah. No, I get that. I’m definitely an exhibitionist. I like being watched.
DIA: I like underwear, y’know, just walking down the street.
DYLAN: flash somebody?
DIA: yeah. wear a butt plug, walk down the street.
DYLAN: meet Sinead at a hot dog stand and have a go of it?
DIA: oh, I would love to meet Sinead at a hot dog stand.
DYLAN: Sinead loves hot dogs. So, erm, this is my first time, but, I have always thought that doing porn like this is pretty great because it’s thoughtful, it’s authentic, it’s hot, can show genuine pleasure. Like today, I mean the fact that we could bring Sinead to join us was a really special thing and I don’t feel like that can happen just anywhere.
DIA: no, I agree with you.
DYLAN: and so I feel like it’s great to, er, show that to the world, express that, help people see that they can have all kinds of sex and all different kinds of sexuality, and there’s a place for that, and that’s hot and fun, and obviously show us two girls having a great time, and er feeling really good about it, and er sex and mannequins are nothing to be ashamed of. Yeah.
DIA: I just wish she had a little hole here for some skull fucking.
DYLAN: well, maybe we can do that after we’re done. Take her away.
DIA: we could store hot dogs in there too.
DYLAN: yah, sausages.
DIRECTOR: any last words?
DYLAN: thank you all for having me.
DIA: thank you. *mwah*
DYLAN: see you, bye!