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(Intro music)

Polly: What was your favorite thing about the shoot today?

Andre: I have to pick just one? (laughs) It’s my first time back in a while. It’s my first shoot for CPS in my 30s, which is really exciting if I feel hotter in my thirties than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. That’s so great. And I also have never shot with someone that I hadn’t worked with before or had a personal intimate relationship with before for CrashPad. And so this was like all kinds of new for me and it all just felt so amazing and went so amazing. And I was… now I’m going to just word vomit… it was great. Everything was great.

Polly: Awesome.
Andre: Easy answer. What about you?

Polly: (huffs)
(laughter)

Andre: See, now I put you on the spot!
Polly: Okay, so… um… It’s my first time doing a studio set for porn. I am new and it’s my first real grown-up not DIY situation, which is really exciting and an honor and given the wait times on the application, a privilege.

(laughs)

Andre: They’re the hottest game in town.

Polly: Well, to have that happen for a studio with such an incredible reputation and a body of work and just like unimpeachable ethics, and it’s just really important that… That exists and I just feel incredibly honored. And just so yeah, just being here is really meaningful and. And… just… You’re really good at handling me. I just really liked it. No, you’re fun! You’re just so fun, and it was really comfortable. So I just felt like it was easy and, and really approachable and it wasn’t, it just wasn’t difficult to be in it. And that is my favorite part.

Andre: I felt the same way I really enjoyed discovering how laughy and goofy you are

Polly: Oh god I’m a fucking goof.

Andre: I think the first 5 or 10 minutes of our scene with us being like, “Oh! we’re going to exchange the same energy with each other right now. Oh! This is great!”

Polly: I laughed so much.

Andre: Yeah, me too.

Polly: That’s why I get the botox. Because I’d be a big smile line. Just one entire smile line.

(laughs)

Andre: That shows people that you’re happy in your life. You know?

Polly: I’m happy. Yeah, and getting happier every moment.

Andre: What was the most challenging part of the shoot? Do you think for you, if there were any challenging parts.

Polly: It’s really new for me to be with a top who can’t feel all of the things that they’re doing with their own body and wanting to just be really… to accept what’s happening physically and want to do things to give you pleasure and not knowing what that looks like for you. Because I haven’t, I haven’t had sex with a strap-on before taking comfort in the fact that you’re clearly enjoying yourself and that you could communicate that to me and that like you’re getting what you want and need out it and just kind of like trusting that because I really wanted to be like, “What can I do? What can I do? What can I do for you?” Because that’s how I am. So just kind of needing to let go. It was, I mean not insurmountable clearly but it was like, it was running in my head the entire time just like “What could I be doing, what could I be doing…” Just relinquishing that urge to DO at you. That was hard.

Andre: And we talked a little bit about that too this morning. I was like, “So with your service inclinations, have you ever applied service towards genitals that are not actually a biological part of somebody’s body?” What does that look like? I was glad we were able to talk about that too. Because I knew. Every time I looked at your face you were like, (inhales deeply) It was pleasure, but it was like “Give me a job! Give me a job!” You were like, “Give me a job!” And I was like, Polly, we only have 45 minutes. I can only give you so many jobs.

(laughs)

Andre: But I totally hear that. I was just like, “I’ll fucking give you what you want!”

(laughs)

Andre: Um… No, I remember when I was first starting to have queer sex in that way and I was receiving toys, I remember having that history so recently when I was a teenager fucking around with cis men, I was like “oh okay, the things that I can do to this person having that learning curve. Right? I totally feel that.

Polly: So what was the most challenging aspect of this for you?

Andre: It’s really hot in here.

(laughs)

Andre: That is literally the only challenging part and I think everybody, especially the folks that are watching in the secret cam… Saw me be like, “Ah, I’m dying! I need some air” And… yeah. I love being sweaty. I love being a girl-shaped salt lick.

Andre: You know, so for me, I’m a wrestler and one of the things I hate the most is when people are like wrestling me and they’re on top of me and their sweat slowly drips onto my face I actually want to die. Exactly like Chinese water torture, right? In my head I was projecting that onto you and I’m like, first of all I don’t want to do that to this lovely person and second of all, I’m going to turn into an ice luge in a second and just like slip and slide off their body if I don’t like have a quick moment. So like…. I don’t know. I had a hot flash! And I’m like, “I’m not that old yet!” but then I got some water and was totally fine. But this set, for folks who haven’t been on it, is kind of like a greenhouse effect And so I got over my little overheating. And then I was like, back in the game. (laughs)

Andre: What are your safer sex practices?

Polly: I like to test before I encounter anyone new. Unless testing has been recent and there hasn’t been anything in particular to merit a change in status. My partner and I are fluid-bonded and we kind of organized that… we’re going to be fluid-bonded, he’s fluid-bonded with his other partner and then everyone else uses barriers and that is just agreed upon, out of hand, before any potential for actual sex happens. I generally tend to get tested quarterly maybe every six months or so if I don’t have a change of people involved, but I generally use condoms and then that’s mostly it. I haven’t ever actually encountered dental dams because I’m new at vaginas.

Andre: I did bring some to the set, too. I know someone who works here has a special fondness for dental dams. Part of me wants to pull it out just to be like “Ah ha!” But we’d already discussed our safer sex practices and what we were comfortable with and I just really wanted to eat you out, so that happened. (laughs)

Polly: I also wanted that.

Andre: Yeah, that’s great.

Polly: What about you? What are your safer sex practices?

Andre: I am very, very sexually active. I am an escort as well as a pro Domme, and I don’t shoot that much anymore since I relocated back to the East Coast. I had to remember which coast I am on for a second, but I do every week have multiple new partners and so I get tested about every two weeks. And I use barriers my clients and then I negotiate barrier use with recreational partners and then I also get vaccinated so I just got double vaxxed for monkeypox and I just like to keep up to date with like whatever the newest thing is on the market for sexual protection and I… I don’t like babies but I also don’t really let people who can reproduce inside of me.

So yeah, pretty on top of it, I will say it is a lot harder to do. I miss California and the ease of getting tested here especially for low or no-cost. In Baltimore it’s really, really difficult to be a sex worker and have to constantly lie and tell people that you were exposed to everything all the time. In order to advocate to get certain tests done, or have to pay out-of-pocket for it like with health insurance. And so it definitely is a new struggle but that is… This is going to be my life for a while. So it’s totally acceptable to me.

Polly: Yeah.

Andre: Mmhm.

Polly: Awesome.

Andre: So Polly… (laughs) Why do you continue to do porn?

Polly: I came and did porn today because you invited me. (laughs) You offered, I wasn’t going to pass it up. No, I have a deep admiration for this studio and a deep admiration for you and your work. And at this point in my life, having transitioned, feeling really comfortable with my body for the first time in, you know, 38 and a half years, now pushing 40, it’s just time for me to be in my body in ways that did not feel possible before. And I have always had an interest in sex work and porn specifically because of the opportunities it presents to enter into physical experiences with people who are willing and able to take your needs and wants from, from a very pragmatic framework. Very seriously. Sex is easy feelings are hard. I don’t necessarily want to date or have more partners or any kind of… my personal life is in a really stable place, and I like that.

Polly: And also, my interest expands beyond one person. And all of the really good safe feelings there. So I can just put that to use in a way that is fun and comfortable for me in my body and with other exciting, fun people.

Andre: That is a stellar response. (laughs)

Polly: I’ve thought a lot about that. I have. This is an ongoing conversation for me. Um, yeah. Why do you continue to do porn?

Andre: So that’s a really good question. I didn’t do a whole lot of thinking before I came here. Even though I’ve been answering these questions for 9 years. Um… I… Why do I continue to do porn? I really love sex and especially where I’m at now. I keep plugging Baltimore. Baltimore is actually a really awesome City. But unfortunately, especially when you spend eight years of your life out here and then you move to an area that is not as prolific with, I mean insert word here, like sex workers. Queer folks, trans folks, radical communities it was a big sacrifice that I took. And I went in like, you know, about my house and that’s great. I have like housing stability for the first time in my life and I never would have that out here, right? But at the same time I took, I took a big L.

I took a hit and I haven’t been able to have the same kinds of sex that really nourishes me with who and what is available to me in Baltimore. And I love performing. I also love connecting with people. I’m someone who can be very present and show up very present in an intimate situation with someone that I’ve never been in that situation before. And I know this is superpower and I am still enjoying exercising it and yeah, a lot of my porn work now, looks like me, just taking big old trips like three, four times a year and then like filling my cup and then going back and… riding that out as long as I can until I want to get my fix and I have made sex work into a career. This is my sixteenth year in the industry and I want to be still showing my body and showcasing my sexuality. Well into my 40s, 50s, 60s. I want that virtual scrapbook of my life that’s accessible not only to me but to people who might find it inspiring or cathartic or useful in some other way. So, especially as queers.

Polly: What is and/or has been your favorite aspect of quarantine?

Andre: It’s a really important question to ask sex workers especially because we just watch our entire industry dark overnight when the pandemic hit and I actually I swear this isn’t a plug, it’s not even around any more. I started a queer virtual strip club In March of 2020 and we had like 40, 50 queer dancers, mostly by BIPOC folks, mostly trans folks from all over the world coming in doing two shows a week online. So not only was it nourishing in that it was survival funds. Like it was putting money in my pocket that I needed to survive, it was putting money in the pockets of out of work dancers who needed to survive. But also I have this life mission of making strip clubs more accessible to marginalized communities and putting us in charge of those spaces and I gained so much community as someone who is, very used to building community in-person I gained so much community and now I ended up retiring it virtually at the end of June but I now have like 50 new friends, you know all across the world and that was really cool and unexpected was the way that was able to pivot in my life to the virtual realm how that still impacts me today post – still in COVID, but post quarantine.

Andre: What for you was the best part about quarantine?

Polly: I had said… I’m maybe beating a dead horse… about my transition. But I got my hysterectomy in July of 2020, and my top surgery on the last, on the trans day of visibility actually March 31st 2021. Unintended. And so, you know, it was a very strange time to be, to know that was coming because I did the consults just before lockdown. And so to know that that was going to be waiting for me at some point when it was safe.

Polly: Do that, heal from it, get reacquainted with myself and then come out into the world kind of during this resurgence of being like the ability to be in the world again. It was like my chrysalis time for my entire body and…it’s really hard to think of something more positive than that. Even though it didn’t really have a lot to do with quarantine, it was… quarantine gave it maybe a different kind of space to sort of meet myself.

Have the people that I was able to make contact with my close friends, my partner and to sort of have that reintegration able to be really kind of thoroughly moderated by me because access was different. So I got to enter that new territory on my own terms in a way that I imagine a lot of people don’t get to when the world is not closed.

Andre: Mmmhmm.

Polly: It gave me things that I didn’t know I didn’t have. I… I didn’t – I didn’t know what my expectations would be and how I feel about myself afterwards just exceeds all of what I thought the potential even was. And I can’t articulate that beyond…

Andre: I think you did a really fantastic job.

Polly: Thank you.

Andre: You’re welcome.

Polly: So, I resent that quarantine isn’t actually over because of the public health implications. I’m pretty angry about that honestly. But on a personal level, the years before COVID and the years since things have started to go back to normal, the latter year has been amazing but the years before were so bad personally that the global pandemic and all of the tragedy, collectively and personally has been far from my personal worst so I have very little but gratitude, which is astonishing and I hate that for me, but I’m so glad that it’s safer than it was and that I get to be me now.

Andre: I feel very, like you said earlier, you feel very honored to be working on a set where its reputation precedes itself and being familiar with my body of work and what I do. And I feel so incredibly honored cuz obviously, I had no idea. You know, we had not had, I don’t think, an in-depth conversation with each other ever maybe about ourselves?

Polly: Not really

Andre: I know.

Polly: Very superficial relationship talk about the work that we did with your blog.

Andre: I feel so honored to be meeting you in this way when you just came out of this chrysalis period. And that just feels like magic for me and that I’m – I’m sure a fraction of the magic that it feels for you. But I’m just really – I am very pleased that not only do we get to do this but that you got to do it in your period of gender euphoria.

Polly: Me too! It would have been impossible before, it’s just where it is. None of this would have been possible when I couldn’t look at myself in third person. Basically.

Andre: Yeah.
Polly: Yeah.

(high fives)

Polly: Thank you so much.

Andre: You’re welcome, thank you!

Andre: I need a shower. Somebody crowdfund so that CrashPad can install an outdoor shower!

(Ava, off camera) We can hose you down.

Andre: But no, thank you.

Andre:
Thank you everyone who shares this space with us virtually and I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now.

Polly: Me too. Emphatically seconded.

(laughs)

(Ava) Thank you

All: Yay! (claps)