BEHIND THE SCENES 187: Cyd and Papí Coxxx

Cyd: Hey Papi! [Begins reading] “It’s so brutally into him, his thin elastic lips cleaned the cylinder as it worked. He freed his hands and placed them on Rick’s churning buttocks.” [Reading ends]

Papí Coxxx: So how did you like the shoot today?

Cyd: I fucking loved it! Um, it was really fun to fuck you. Um, I felt like we had a really great chemistry.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: Um, I felt like, um, I like a lot of eye contact and I was like, okay. Yeah. I like a lot of eye contact. It was really hot too. Um, the blowjob scene was actually really hot.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: Um, I liked teasing you.

Papí Coxxx: I loved that! [Both laugh] I really did.

Cyd: I actually haven’t done a lot of edging before and it just kind of, came naturally.

Papí Coxxx: It was good. That’s what I liked about it. I think um, we negotiated a lot.

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: But everything just kinda… just went smoothly. It just went nicely. I liked it. It felt great. It felt natural.

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: And it was fucking hot. Yeah.

Cyd: I very much agree.

[SCENE]

Cyd: Was there anything about the shoot that you found challenging?

Papí Coxxx: No. I didn’t find anything challenging. It was all-good. I don’t think so.

Cyd: Yeah?

Papí Coxxx: You?

Cyd: Ah… nope! It just… very natural.

Papí Coxxx: I know what was challenging: I’d stick my tongue in your ass when it was in my face, because we didn’t negotiate that. And I really wanted to do that, because it was so good. But, yeah. That, that was a challenging thing.

Cyd: That’s a good challenge!

Papí Coxxx: That’s it.

Cyd: Yeah, I got nothing. Got nothing. I guess, I really wanted to like, I guess there was just, things, I wanted to do a lot of things…

Papí Coxxx: Mm-hmm.

Cyd: But I also like, wanted to look at you in the face. So some of the things that I wanted to do I…

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: I stopped in favor of being able to see your face, and kind of see your body reaction. You know, even though we had really good chemistry and I felt pretty like, sure that you would let me know if something wasn’t good. I just like to…

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: Be able to look at someone in the face.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah, I agree. I think the, that energy and the intensity was working for me.

Cyd: Yeah.

Papí Coxxx: And I liked it. Yeah.

[SCENE]

Cyd: So I know that you’ve done porn before, ‘cause I watched your porn kind of I think, very much close to when I came out as trans and that was very hot. Um, tell me why you keep doing porn?

Papí Coxxx: You know I, for many reasons. I think um, of course, money’s always nice.

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: Um, for work. But it goes beyond work for me. It um, I think when I first started, especially coming out as trans, um, being able to express myself sexually in a way that kind of blew things out of the water, right? ‘Cause there’s this kind of this misconception or this idea, this kind of cookie, cookie-cutter model of how trans people have sex or what they do with their body. Or don’t do.

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: Don’t touch, don’t do this. And I think that’s the case with some people, but all of these things are kind of put together. And I think porn gave me an outlet to just be free. Be an exhibitionist, be naked and just be vulnerable. Just completely vulnerable. And it worked out, you know?

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: To be that vulnerable, so many people responded very positively about that.

Cyd: Yeah.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah. And I think um, just doing porn here like, you know, feminist porn, negotiating things, knowing who you’re going to be with, having a say in things, all of that stuff um, makes it definitely appealing to be coming back.

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: Um, and also to have, you know, sex with some fucking hot people! That, that works for me.

Cyd: Mm-hmm. It’s kind of a good like, uh, gay comedy, where just like, ‘I want to have sex with that person’ and then you get paid for it!

Papí Coxxx: Yes!

Cyd: It’s pretty cool.

Papí Coxxx: And I’ve seen you in several things and I’ve always thought, you know, I’ve always knew that we were going to shoot together. Um, so what brings you coming back and back?

Cyd: I love doing porn. It’s probably my favorite form of sex work. And I have my own company. It’s like a gay avatar performing company called, ‘Bonus Hole Boys’. Um, and I really wanted to do that, because I remember a certain point of transition where um, I felt like, in order for people to take me seriously as a trans guy, that meant that I had to be a top.

Papí Coxxx: Right, right.

Cyd: Only. Um, and I like, I like feel like now I’m more in touch with my top self. But at the time it was really me trying hard for it.

Papí Coxxx: Right.

Cyd: It was not very to who I was. Um, and that sucked. Like I, you know, it sucks to have this idea of like, legitimacy and gender…

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: Be tied to a certain sexual position-ality.

Papí Coxxx: Mm-hmm.

Cyd: And once I kind of got over myself um, and I realized that I like, I really liked getting fucked. And I really like getting fucked in my front hole, pussy, whatever.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: Um, that, that’s something that I want like, let people know it’s okay to do. Because there wasn’t a ton of imagery of that…

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: Around for me. So that’s something that I really enjoy. And I also, like, a lot of narratives of trans-ness are tied in with self-hatred of the body.

Papí Coxxx: Right.

Cyd: And that’s totally legitimate for some people. Like a lot of people have really intense diaspora, but also like, I want, I want to be some one who like, really likes my body.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: And who is visible.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

[SCENE]

Papí Coxxx: So um, we used, we didn’t use some barriers here and stuff, but on the regular, what are your safe-sex practices?

Cyd: Um, it depends on the individual. Um, I am a sexual health counselor and I feel like, very comfortable, like I know the risks of different things. And um, there’s, depending on the context, I will feel comfortable taking certain risks with certain people. Um, I also like, like testing is real.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: And I think that there’s this idea that like, disease can be spontaneously created between two people having sex and that’s not true. Like…

Papí Coxxx: What?!

Cyd: You know like, a lot of, like I’ve done some bareback scenes.

Papí Coxxx: Mm-hmm.

Cyd: Um, with people who are flesh cocks. And um, people will be like, ‘That’s risky!’ And I was like, ‘It’s not!’ Like, he had a recent HIV test, I had a recent HIV test. Like, we communicated all the risks that were in our background.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: We both got very like, up-to-date like, STI and HIV tests.

Papí Coxxx: Right.

Cyd: Like, what do you think is going to happen? Like God is just going to be like, ‘Now you both are infected with HIV, ‘cause you’re not supposed to do that!’ So I, you know, it really, like some people I use one hundred percent barriers, some people I don’t. It’s like, a base, bases of um, communication, testing, and like, just like having your own personal definition of like, what is risk management to myself.

Papí Coxxx: Yeah.

Cyd: What about you?

Papí Coxxx: I um, for a long time, many, many, many years, I did not exchange body fluids with anyone.

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: Not for a very long time. Um, and I think um, it had a lot to do with, um, not that I didn’t desire it, but it was, it was this idea that um, I’m a sex worker.

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: I’m doing sexual liberation work. And everywhere, it just felt like everyone was just waiting for something to happen. To say, ‘See? That’s what happens to people who do that.’

Cyd: Yeah.

Papí Coxxx: So I was like super careful. Um, and then I, you know, got over that and realized that I just need to negotiate what I need. So um, I mostly use barriers with um, when I play with people. Uh, and uh, there are several people that I’m intimate or I guess romantic, for lack of a better term, um, that we negotiate um, continuously about unbarriered sex. So it’s not a given. It’s not…

Cyd: Yeah.

Papí Coxxx: ‘Now we had unbarriered sex and now every time we have sex we can have unbarriered sex’. So it’s a constant negotiation. So I like that.

Cyd: Mm-hmm.

Papí Coxxx: And I’m also, I test. Um, for STI’s, HIV, all the time. I’m very regularly. So same as you, I, I um, there’s always a risk in um, all that we do. I assess those risks and I decide.

Cyd: Yes. As an adult [Laughs]. Um, yeah. It is, like, not to delay on that too much, but I think the idea of like, unacceptable risk is really interesting around sex workers and um, risk reduction practices. Like you know, as human beings we take so many risks through our days.

Papí Coxxx: Yes.

Cyd: Like cars. You know, smoking. Like living in the city. Like, there’s so many things that can be risky. And I think that there’s so much shaming…

Papí Coxxx: Yep.

Cyd: That happens to sex workers around you know, like what their sexual health practices are. And I just want to like, name that and label it. Not as something that I’m like, I think people should change their behaviors, but I think just like, there’s so much stigma.

Papí Coxxx: Yep. There is.

Cyd: That people internalize.

[SCENE]

Papí Coxxx: Um, last words? Um, I wish we got um, could’ve, would’ve, could’ve gotten into some foot play. I painted my toes for you.

Cyd: I know! I, I really, like, after I was like, okay. We’ve both kind of run out of times. And then you were like, ‘The feet’. And I was like, ‘Goddammit, the feet!’ [Laughs]. Like, I love a good arch on my face.

Papí Coxxx: But other than that, I mean…

Cyd: There’s always next time.

Papí Coxxx: Yes, next time. Yeah. Oh, and definitely, I would DEFINITELY have sex with you off of camera. So…

Cyd: Cool.

Papí Coxxx: Next time we do that…

Cyd: And we do [Laughs]. To the fans at home.