Transcription: Connor Lightcap

Slide: All performers were 18 years of age or older at the time of the production, April 13th 2013 (04/13/2013). All documentation per 18 USC 2257 is maintained by the custodian of records L. Houston, 1458 Unit B7 San Bruno Ave., San Francisco Ca, 94110. Not to be viewed by minors.

Scene: opens to TROUBLE, DYLAN, and CHELSEA in bed.
DYLAN: You always have such good ideas.
Offscreen: Okay, lets stop right there. Lets get into the [unintelligible].
DYLAN: We’re trying to have sex, geez!
(Laughter)
DYLAN: (yelling) sex!
(Laughter)

Cuts to TROUBLE, DYLAN, and CHELSEA behind the scenes
DYLAN: So how’d you enjoy the shoot today?
CHELSEA: It was really awesome.
TROUBLE: Yeah, it was totally awesome, yeah.
DYLAN: (to CHELSEA) Was it what you expected?
CHELSEA: Um, I don’t know what I expected, really. I was so nervous, but it was so much fun.
DYLAN: Was it what you hoped for? Did you have any hopes and dreams—
CHELSEA: I think it was better than I hoped for.
DYLAN: It was better! Yeah!
CHELSEA: Yeah.
DYLAN: (to TROUBLE) Nice job, lady.
(They high-five)
TROUBLE: (to DYLAN) How did you like the scene?
TROUBLE and DYLAN: (echoing each other) yeah, go us.
DYLAN: I had a delightful time. I, um, never really get a chance to watch what’s happening, really. ‘Cause I’m always really in it and doing stuff but this was good with the two of you ‘cause I felt like a perverted voyeur person doing the fucking and watching you and watching you guys and I was like yeah, it really worked for me. It made my vagina happy.

Cut to scene of porn: (moaning)(laughter)
DYLAN: Oh yeah, fuck her.
CHELSEA: (giggling) Oh, shit.

Cuts to TROUBLE, DYLAN, and CHELSEA behind the scenes.
TROUBLE: Was there anything challenging? I mean, threesomes are challenging.
DYLAN: Yeah, but we were talking about that before we started, (CHELSEA makes sound of agreeance) that threesomes are challenging. I did not feel challenged in this threesome.
TROUBLE: It’s a bit like tetris.
CHELSEA, DYLAN and TROUBLE: Yeah.
CHELSEA: I didn’t feel like anyone was like left out or anything.
DYLAN: No, yeah.
TROUBLE: Yeah.
CHELSEA: I feel like usually with threesomes where you have like two people fucking one person is like ‘Oh, I don’t know what to do.”
DYLAN: Yeah no I felt—
CHELSEA: But I feel like everyone was so on.
DYLAN: It was good we kind of all took turns with all the different things, um, I don’t think anything was challenging for me.
CHELSEA: Not really.
DYLAN: I want a bionic arm.
TROUBLE: Totally.
DYLAN: You know, I wish for that at least like once a month.
TROUBLE: So like just don’t even have to grab for things or —
DYLAN: No, no, so you can just when you’re fucking somebody it just, you like press a button, it just goes.
TROUBLE: Yeah…
DYLAN: It just keeps on going and it doesn’t stop. You know, because at some point your arm is like, I’m done with that.
TROUBLE: Well, that’s what’s so great about a threesome, is because that’s happened to me and then we just tag teamed out. (laughter)
DYLAN: Yeah, but I was having so much fun fucking Chelsea and I was like are you going to come for me, are you going to come for me? I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep going!
(Laughter)
CHELSEA: Yeah, I felt your arm starting to go and I was like ‘Oh no, I need to!”
DYLAN: No! Well it’s like false advertising. I’m like ‘I’m going to fuck the shit out of you, except blah blah blah… my arm is dying. So, bionic arm.
TROUBLE: Bionic arm, for sure.
DYLAN: Bionic arm, for Christmas. I’ll ask the Keymaster. Dear Keymaster…
TROUBLE: Dear Keymaster, you’re so good to us.
DYLAN: (to Trouble) Anything challenging for you?
TROUBLE: Um, again sort of like with the arm, with the arm stuff, not that it was taking too long or anything, but like I kind of have a messed up neck and shoulder right now, so for me to prop myself up at certain points. Working with three people definitely was like “oh, this is a totally new way that I’m hurting myself right now but okay. (laughter)
DYLAN: Yeah, it was today’s workout.
TROUBLE: But the sex was so worth it.
DYLAN and CHELSEA: Yeah.
DYLAN: Today’s workout I think.
TROUBLE: Contorting yourself into any sort of painful situation is always worth it if there’s an awesome orgasm at the end of it.
DYLAN: Which there was.
TROUBLE: There was.
DYLAN: (to Chelsea) I thoroughly enjoyed your orgasm, thank you very much.
CHELSEA: Yeah, yeah I enjoyed both of your orgasms as well, so… (laughter)

Cuts to scene of porn. Moaning and “uh huhs” are heard, as well as sounds of slapping. CHELSEA orgasms.

Cuts to TROUBLE, DYLAN, and CHELSEA behind the scenes.

DYLAN: So, Trouble, you, you have been in the porno for a while, uh, why do you like it, and why do you keep on doing it?
TROUBLE: Uh, you know, the reason why I like it changes like every time I do a scene, and it’s just, it’s just I keep doing it because of that, of that knowledge, you know. Like I kind of have, every new person shows me a different thing about sex that I can then sort of take and enrich my own personal sex life, outside of sex work. Um, and that’s awesome. That’s awesome. Like, I get to be like the best lover to myself and to my partner, ever, um because I just have so many experiences.
DYLAN: You learn new things.
TROUBLE: And also, I also really like, um, I also really like doing porn, um, or I guess I should say people watching and enjoying and becoming fans of me because it gives me a platform to say other things. Like, you could say a lot with sex and who you work with and the kind of porn that you make and stuff like that. But like, you know like, having had this experience with like having Twitter followers and having a Tumblr and having like having people like ‘Hey what you said last night was really important!’, like I wouldn’t be able to have the voice that I have if it weren’t for fucking all of these awesome people and learning about sex.
DYLAN: Hell yeah!
TROUBLE: I mean, how do you, you’ve also been doing porn for seven years right, like–
DYLAN: I think I’m going on eight, the past eight, going on nine? I don’t even remember.
TROUBLE: Why do you keep doing it?
DYLAN: (yelling) I love porn!
(Laughing)
DYLAN: It’s so fun! Um, I keep on doing it because at the end of every shoot, I always, well I guess with a few minor exceptions, most often I have the same reaction, which is: I can’t believe I get to do this! And I get paid for it. How fucking amazing is this, you know? Um, I work with really awesome people, I work on really fabulous sets, I’ve had great experiences. It’s, it’s, my performance, it’s my, um, my art to the world. And so, it’s the way that I express myself and express my sexuality and, a lot like you said, it’s, you know, one of the ways that I convey myself to the world, um, it’s also just really hot and super fun. And I always told myself, you know, that I would stop when it wasn’t fun anymore and it’s still fun after all these years, I still have a great time. (to CHELSEA) Um, Chelsea, you are new to porn, but inquiring minds want to know if you’ll keep doing it.
TROUBLE: Yeah! A lot of people want to know if you’ll keep doing it!
CHELSEA: Yeah…
DYLAN: Will we see you elsewhere?
CHELSEA: Yeah, I’m really hoping to, um, continue doing more things. I’m actually shooting with Courtney’s Queer Porn TV down the road, and yeah. I just want to keep doing more. I mean, I feel like trans women in porn are so usually just tops and are almost so restricted to that and there’s very few exceptions, um, now and I just want to provide an alternative because it’s extremely difficult to find porn for me that I can totally relate to with the exception of Drew DeVeaux and a few other trans women, there’s not that much porn that many trans women who don’t identify as straight or tops can really identify with, so…
DYLAN: Anything else you want to say?
CHELSEA: Um, I say Crashpad is awesome for giving people who don’t necessarily fit into the normal porn narrative an opportunity to have real sex and today was so much fun and I think we all really enjoyed the shoot.
TROUBLE AND DYLAN: Mmhm, yeah.
DYLAN: I had a good time. Because it was funny and you mentioned it was very sexy, and it was mentioned, the vibrating balls…(laughter) from the New York Toy Collective. They are awesome and I just have to shout out to them because they detach and you can interchange them and they have a vibrator in them. It blew my mind! So many times I’ve been like I wish this cock had balls or I wish this cock didn’t have balls…you can take them off and put them on! Amazing. And the vibration is really good, so…
TROUBLE: I also just want to…my final statement would be, like yay femmes! Dylan and I were like the person number one and person number two for the original crash pad series website and here we are, finally, at last, together again…
DYLAN: Seven years later, I know!
TROUBLE: And it’s a brand new Crashpad location being broken in by the three awesome amazing beautiful strong sexy sluts…and we wish you all the best in your new location!
DYLAN: Yeah, we love the Keymaster!
TROUBLE: We love the Keymaster! Yay!
(Clapping)
DYLAN: Thanks for letting us break this in, it’s awesome. Yeah. Shall we say goodbye?
TOGETHER: Bye, bye guys!
OFFSCREEN: Thank you, that was awesome!
(Cheering)

Slide: All performers were 18 years of age or older at the time of the production, April 13th 2013 (04/13/2013). All documentation per 18 USC 2257 is maintained by the custodian of records L. Houston, 1458 Unit B7 San Bruno Ave., San Francisco Ca, 94110. Not to be viewed by minors.