Transcription: @julianamarie
[2257 disclaimer; BTS Intro; setting up]
DEVON: I’m so glad you got through TSA.
(Laughter)
VOC (Voice off camera): That would be funny.
DEVON: No, it is, it was like funny, ‘cause it’s a miracle he did.
VAUGHN: I was the last one on my plane. I was like the last one boarding, I had a double pat down in a private room and everything.
VOC: Wow.
DEVON: Yeah,
VAUGHN: Yeah, yeah, yeah
VOC: Wow, crazy.
VOC: – you said stuff to the –
VAUGHN: It’s cause I didn’t go through the body scanner
EVERYBODY: Ooohh…
VAUGHN: Because I opted out of that, after all of their, like, efforts to get me to walk through it, and so they like, spent the next hour just like –
DEVON: Punishing you.
VAUGHN: Yeah.
DEVON: It sucks.
VAUGHN: It’s okay, I was just so glad to be on that plane.
VOC: Do you want her to film that? You could be like, I’m so glad you made it through TSA.
DEVON: Yeah.
VOC: ‘cause that’s kind of, I, I want to get that move, moving or flying-
DEVON: Yeah
VAUGHN: Yeah-
VOC: Traveling or (Unintelligible) at least
VAUGHN: Yeah.
VOC: That’d be funny
DEVON: ‘cause it like explains that he’s like not a child that I picked up off the street from school
(Laughter)
VOC: So yeah, we’ll take it from you guys kissing and like moving how you did, and then just keep going, do, do your thing. And, action.
[Cut to interview]
VAUGHN: So how did you enjoy the shoot today?
DEVON: I was pretty excited to be shooting today, um. I really am happy with everything we did, uh, atmosphere was great. I think everything was really professional and it went off without a hitch, I don’t know, how about you?
VAUGHN: I feel really good about it, I feel still, really, jittery.
(Laughter)
DEVON: I know I definitely have, I don’t know, duckling legs, or what is that, Bambi legs.
(Laughter)
VAUGHN: Bambi legs, yeah. Right.
[Cut to scene]
(Moaning, quick shot of VAUGHN and DEVON on bed, then camera being moved around room)
(More moaning)
[Cut back to interview]
DEVON: Was there, a, anything that was like a challenge for you during the shoot?
VAUGHN: Um, not once we were going, except when I was trying to get my clothes off. Every time I tried to take something off, I like stumbled or tripped. The loop rolling around kind of stressed me for second but I forgot everything else, I forgot everything, I was just so glad to be back with you.
DEVON: Yeah, um, for me it would probably be that the bed isn’t flush against the wall. I don’t know why, the bed is always flush against the wall whenever I’m doing anything
(Laughter)
DEVON: Anyone I take up with, anyone, my bed at home, your bed, like –
VAUGHN: We’re wall people
DEVON: The fact like, I could have fallen off either side was probably the most challenging for me because I used to like having a wall to like hold myself up on, or like throw something against whereas, at one point, I was getting ready to throw you and I was like, oh, there’s nowhere to throw you but off the bed, so I no, no, no!
VAUGHN: You almost threw me off the foot of the bed there.
DEVON: I know, exactly, so, I’m glad I didn’t. That was probably my only, only challenge. Other than that… no.
VAUGHN: Yeah.
[Cut to scene]
DEVON: Welcome to San Francisco.
VAUGHN: Yeah. I already love it here.
VOC: Did you get that line Heidi?
VOC: Uh, yeah I did, yeah.
VOC: I don’t think I got it.
(Laughing)
VOC: Cue it one more time.
(Laughing)
DEVON: Well, welcome to San Francisco.
VAUGHN: I already love it here.
DEVON: Oh, god.
VOC: Awesome, thanks guys.
(Unintelligible)
[Cut back to interview]
VAUGHN: So, why do you want to continue making porn?
DEVON: I just feel like it’s really important to me as someone with, uh, just a really unique way of moving and operating, uh, to represent myself like accurately and adequately in the community, I don’t see a lot visibility among non-binary trans men, or trans men who are okay with certain parts of their body being touched or not touched. And, um… I just want to show that like through transition, people are still having sex, you know, um, I don’t feel too great about the way my skin has changed recently, I’m really self-conscious about it, and that was kind of, uh, a minor worry coming in today, but I just really thought, you need to get over this, like, this is (Unintelligible) everyone else who is going through what you’re going through at least physically right now is going to either encounter this or like has encountered it and like overcome it, and like you need to just like not worry about the fact that like, your body doesn’t look the way it will even a few months from now, and my skin will surely clear up, and I won’t be cracking and I, I just feel it’s really important as a trans person, and a trans person of color, even more importantly, to just create visibility and show that I can be diverse and dynamic and use my body in ways that people don’t expect of me. Um that’s pretty much why I’m continuing to do porn, and like why I wanted to start in the first place, I got tired of not seeing myself represented in the medium and I said, well, if you don’t like what’s going on, you need to be part of the change to make that happen. And that’s what I’m doing like, overcoming all my camera shyness, and all my stage fright, just in the name of creating a space for other people like myself to see themselves reflected, or to see someone who they, like, never want to be like reflected, I just thinks it’s a, it’s a win-win. For everyone-
VAUGHN: Or someone who they might never meet on the ground.
DEVON: Yeah, someone you might not meet-
VAUGHN: Or now how to talk to –
DEVON: (Unintelligible) or another city, or even in your group, because you’re stuck to a really homogenized group, but um, how about you? Why do you do porn, aside from the fact that you’re an exhibitionist?
VAUGHN: (Laughs) Uh, shut up, mostly just what you were saying, I just have to keep daring myself, I have the same moment every time the shirt comes off, I have that moment, yeah, there’s a camera, where it’s just like, oh, am I doing this, oh I did this, and I just ask myself at this point, how many fucks are you going to give.
DEVON: Zero.
VAUGHN: Zero, have zero.
DEVON: Yeah.
VAUGHN: At this moment, and like.. I went through a period, it was right before we met, actually, it was right after I started T, where I was like addicted to queer porn. I was left alone, in like a basement room-
DEVON: Sick-
VAUGHN: For a week over the holidays, and that was like all I did. And it was just like mind-blowing to me at that point, because I could just like feel things changing already, even though no one was seeing it, and that was the closest thing I had to a map as to like where my body was going, and like what was going to happen, and like I wanted different things, and I wanted to be fucking in different ways, but I just like… had no idea, I had no idea what that could look like. And some of it like I still, like didn’t see it when I was watching, I’m like trying to bring that now.
DEVON: Yeah, so other people can see it.
VAUGHN: Exactly.
DEVON: (Unintelligible) Visibility is like really important to me.
VAUGHN: Exactly. And process is the thing.
DEVON: Yeah.
VAUGHN: ‘Cause it’s not like you like, take a few shots and like get these surgeries and that’s it.
DEVON: Yeah.
VAUGHN: At all, you know, like I feel like every time we’ve shot, you’ve changed. Drastically, before we’ve gone back and done it again.
DEVON: M-hmm.
VAUGHN: And I just have to tell myself that I’m gonna like, look back at this like, someday after top surgery, and I’m gonna be relieved that I was able to like, keep doing all the things, like even before.
DEVON: Yeah.
VAUGHN: That I told myself I was gonna like wait until that magic day.
DEVON: Yeah. Because it doesn’t come. There is no magic day, where someone like pops out and is like surprise, you’re a boy now! Like it’s, it’s really, I think, imperative for people to understand that it is a process, like all things, like any, any type of relationship, be it sexually or inter-personally, but like there, there are highs and lows to it, and there are, there’s a beginning, and a middle, and there’s not really an end. I don’t even, actually like transition for explicitly that reason, I don’t think there is an end to a transition. I don’t believe that I will be post-transition once I’m still doing porn and I, if I even do opted to surgeries, that, that it would be like beyond anything, I would always look back at what I’m doing now and what, I mean, what I even did before, the stuff I shot before, obviously, this is who I was at that time, not this is who I was in the past, this is who I am now, please, like respect me for who I am now. I feel like whatever respect I’m going to garner, or not have, is going to be continuous.
VAUGHN: Yeah.
DEVON: Yeah
VAUGHN: Me too. And that’s part of it. I just want to show people that I’m not afraid.
DEVON: Yeah, I’m not afraid of my body, and you shouldn’t be either.
VAUGHN: And you’re assumptions about it. At all.
DEVON: Yeah,
VAUGHN: At all.
DEVON: Yeah, that’s it.
VAUGHN: So you want to keep doing it?
DEVON: Yeah.
VAUGHN: Me, too.
[Fades out.]
[2257 disclaimer]