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INTRO MUSIC

Valen: How did you enjoy the shoot the other day?

Kay: It was really fun. Yeah, it was really hot. I really enjoyed everything we got up to and it definitely, you know, the majority of the time when we’ve played, it’s been just the two of us and it’s fun to get to be watched. So I really enjoyed that aspect too.

Valen: Yeah?

Kay: – Yeah

Valen: Yeah I remember liking anything a lot.

Kay: Yeah.

Valen: Yeah. And I think it was really fun just how we didn’t do all the exact same things like that we usually would get up to.

Kay: Yeah

Valen: I remember that being a really interesting fun part of it. Yeah, totally.

Kay: That like, I feel like we also, we kind of went into it with an expectation of like, okay, here’s some things we’re going to do like based on, you know, how we typically have played and then yeah, got to kind of like flow with what actually felt right in in the situation.

Valen: Totally

Kay: – Yeah

Valen: I liked that too.

Kay: – Yeah. What was most challenging about the shoot for you?

Valen: I think being in a new space, like just even keeping track of the toys and the water and everything.

Kay: Yeah.

Valen: – Yeah. A little different. Like, getting used to the space and fucking at the exact same time.

Kay: Yeah, Yeah.

Valen: How about you?

Kay: I think for me, I was more nervous than I expected to be. I think the challenging part for me was that, yeah, I was feeling a little nervous and trying to sort of take that nervous energy and translate it into just regular old excitement. And, and I think a big part of it was just like the space being, you know, kind of new, it was a little chilly. (laughs)

Valen: What are your safest sex practices and why?

Kay: My safer sex practices… So I have two people in my life that I don’t use any barriers for, for, you know, PIV, PIA, anything. [*Penis in Vagina, Penis in Anus] And with basically everybody else that I have sex with, I use condoms if my cock is going inside, you know, any more, anything other than in their mouth. And I also take PrEP and have for years. [*HIV Pre-Exposure Prophylactic]. I also got a vasectomy. So that’s pretty great too. Not having to worry about that anymore is pretty wonderful. And then just conversation like, I don’t have a safer sex talk with everybody than I have sex with because like, not every sexual situation, even necessarily involves all that much talking. But, it’s a big part of a lot of situations that I’m in, it’s like just having a conversation about STI history when we were tested last, all that kind of stuff and frequent testing. So I think that covers everything.

Yeah. I mean, I’m thinking about how there are certain things that are really important to me to like, to know and trust somebody or use condoms if there’s going to be, like, P/V or anal.

[*Penis/Vagina] But I usually use condoms, but like, not always. It’s just really like person to person. So I think my practices, I choose just based on my sense of self-security and desire and then obviously whatever, however that matches up with whoever I’m playing with and other things I do, I take Acyclovir every day to suppress, like, herpes and also take PrEP. Mm hmm.

Kay: Nice.

Valen: Yeah

Valen: Did you have other thoughts?

Kay: For? For… Yeah. I’ll talk about the “Why.” Yeah. I feel like when I think about the things that were to catch them that they would have a lasting long-term negative impact on my life. I, I want to make sure my bases are really covered on that stuff so that I never I basically just. I never want to feel like I look back in regret at any fun time I ever have. You know, I don’t ever want to regret a good time. And I feel like I used to a long time ago. I used to use barriers for, like, literally everything, like gloves and everything. And then at some point, I kind of reexamined and got to, like, look at like, okay, like, what are the things that are most important to me and what are the things that I’m missing and that I really enjoy about non-barriered play. And yeah, kind of just went down the list and came up with this that way.

Valen: Yeah, makes sense. I guess my practices have changed over time and the reason why would be… from always using a lot more barriers to being more flexible with that. And I think I think that’s just from learning new things about what, what risks exist to the best of my knowledge. And I mean, part of taking PrEP is getting tested pretty regularly. And so that’s important to me and helpful when talking with partners about what we’re going to do and why, just based on what we know about our STI status and all that.

Kay: Yeah, totally. Yeah, I feel the same way. I feel like my… my sort of evolution throughout my life of like different levels of barrier use and safer sex practices has… Yeah. Like, as new information has come out as or at least as it’s been presented to me, it’s really shifted the things that I feel concerned about, less concerned about. Also, you know, the advent of PrEP has been pretty amazing and also, you know, improved treatments for other stuff so that it’s just, you know, and I think also like my own evolution around sort of shedding ideas of shame around any of it has really changed a lot. I feel like there was a lot more in the past, much more of a kind of shame influenced, maybe not fully shame based, but shame influenced approach to it all. Whereas now I don’t feel like I have any of that. I feel like it’s… there’s… I experience a great deal of care for myself and for others, but also a feeling of like also things happen and like people get sick and that’s actually okay. And, you know, and there are certain things that I’m like, I really don’t want to get sick with that. And there are other things where I’m like, Yeah, there’s risk, but I’m okay with that risk.

Valen: Yeah, for sure.

Kay: And so is the person I’m with.

Valen: Yeah, exactly. And yeah, I relate to that. I think I don’t know if I had tons of shame around my sexual practices earlier in my life, but definitely like all about it following the rules. Less so now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kay: Oh, I guess what other safer sex practice that I’ve gotten to do is I have fucked while wearing masks all wearing masks. N-95’s. I’ve had a Yeah, I have at least one person who when one of us had a mild COVID exposure, it was one we weren’t super worried about, but we were still being really careful in terms of not sharing air. But we were really horny for each other. And so we were like, “We can make this work!” And so we just fucked with masks on. And it was, it was really hot. Surprisingly, really fun.

Valen: Yeah. Totally.

Kay: If you’ve done porn before, why do you continue to And if you haven’t, why did you decide to do it today?

Valen: Sure. Yeah. I’ve done porn before. The other day. Yeah, I’ve. I’ve done porn before. Not a ton, but I find that it is like a pretty great source of supplemental income for me. I can work less at shitty jobs. I also find it really fun and enjoy kind of learning new things about myself by having sex in a different context when it’s being filmed compared to when it’s not porn. Yeah. How about you?

Kay: So yeah, I have done porn before. It had been many years since I had done porn and all the porn I had done before was all… it was more sort of like fetish based stuff. It was a lot of like, spanking or like, like Panty Boy stuff, things like that. I had never really this was the first time, like, actually, like, really fucking on camera and yeah, I’ve always really enjoyed it. I’ve always had an exhibitionist streak in me. And so that really appeals to me. I also in the same way that like whenever there’s a mirror around me, I find it kind of fascinating to watch myself do things just because it’s a perspective of myself I don’t normally get. Like I have my own sort of idea of what I look like when I’m talking or, I don’t know, doing the dishes or whatever. Yeah, and it’s always just kind of like, Oh, is that kind of what it looks like from the outside? Oh, that’s really interesting. And so this fulfills a little bit of that too.

Valen – Yeah

Kay: – but in a much, much hotter, more fun way

And yeah, it’s a, it’s a lovely source of supplemental income for me and I don’t know, it’s a freeing feeling I like getting to… I don’t know, my sexuality is such a huge part of my life and it’s something that I feel like especially now with, you know, the pandemic. I’m not like going to sex parties, really, or doing anything like that. So it’s something that tends to be kind of on the private side for me now. And it’s this is a really wonderful way to get to let this part of me that I love so much and that I think is really beautiful and that I want to be seen by more people because it’s like it’s me. I want to feel seen. And this is a really great way to get to do that while still sort of being in line with, you know, taking care of myself around, you know, the world we live in with COVID and everything. So I feel like it feels especially good to be doing that right now.

Valen: That makes sense. What’s been your favorite part of quarantine?

Kay: Oh, um, a couple of things. One is kind of paradoxically connecting with people. I feel like while I, you know, was separated from, you know, the majority of people, that it made me really focus more on like choosing like, okay, like, who do I want to connect with and how and like, um, I feel like especially early on when we didn’t know as much about, like, what was safe and what wasn’t, It meant that I got a lot more selective. And I feel as a result also of just like when you know, the time me and the other person made the decision to – like yes, it’s important for us to connect. Um you know distanced outside whatever that we I don’t know there was like a deepening of the relationship in that, that we were like really consciously choosing one another and yeah and I felt like a lot of relationships really deepened during that time. I felt that way about our relationship So, yeah, that’s the main thing I think about. The second thing is that it was a really good excuse to just like play a ton of video games and just like, not give a shit.

Valen: Yeah!

Kay: Just be like, “Yeah, well, there’s nothing else to do, so just…” built in excuse. Yeah, loved it.

Valen: Yeah, I think it was really similar. I feel like my social self has changed a lot in ways thatI really can only be grateful for in terms of, you know, understanding how I want to be with people and how I want to communicate my desires. And I think kind of pressure to do that with the people who I was with might be part of it, or just a lot of alone time reflecting on how I want to go out and be in the world has led me to make choices that I feel more proud of, rather than just sort of doing every social thing that I hear about.

Kay: Yeah, yeah, I relate to that. I feel like also it’s one, one thing that’s been good is that it’s made me a lot more conscious of my sort of everyday impact on others. Um, you know, having to think about it so much more in terms of trying to keep people around me safe. Um, yeah, it’s… I feel like it, it opened me up to a lot more, uh, in terms of like how to be, you know, just like how to take care of each other, how to be in solidarity with each other when we have different levels of need around, you know, like, around safety, you know, like, especially around, like, people in my life who were immunocompromised or otherwise disabled and, you know, and kind of reflecting on my own needs around similar things. And yeah, I feel like I’m just way more on top of my shit as a result of all that. And that’s something I’m really glad for.

If you want to make really hot fun, queer porn and feel really comfortable doing it, you should come do CrashPad.Yeah, this has been a really special experience. And if you don’t want to do those things, you should not.

Valen: Maybe watch.

Kay: Yeah, yeah. Just keep watching.