Voice Off Camera: All right, and action. Action!

BROOKLYN: So Papi, how did you like the shoot today?

PAPI: I loved it; I had a really good time. Um.. I think uh.. I think we were both a little nervous in starting.. uh.. but it flowed, it flowed.. I think we have fun. I liked that we laughed a lot in it, you know that’s always fun. Um, so I enjoyed it… I enjoyed it a lot. What about you?

BROOKLYN: Um.. it was ten, I’m kidding.. it’s not funny. I’m still nervous.. um.. it was really great. You know what I told you I turn into a total dud when I have to talk in front of a camera. Um, it was really great; you’re amazing, and if.. it’s kind of strange because I’ve . when I met you I was 23 and it was this um.. really intricate-to-get-to party in the middle of the winter in 2005, and I had such a young boy crush on you. You had like the long dreads at the time *inaudible* and I was super intimidated, and I’ve always been really grateful about our friendship, and I just never thought we were going to cross that boundary.. um.. but it’s amazing and if.. and it really does feel.. it’s the first time that I’ve been with somebody that’s like ethnically as me. We’re from the same tribe of people, and I think that’s super special.

PAPI: Yeah, me too. I was really excited about that actually.

BROOKLYN: I was very excited, very excited about that. Like I kept having these fantasies of like, if it was like 1491 before Columbus came to.. *laughter* ..this is what it would be like. So I think, I think we made a little bit of history..

PAPI: yeah..

BROOKLYN: ..just a little bit.

SCENE

BROOKLYN: Did you find anything challenging about this shoot?

PAPI: um.. no, I actually didn’t find anything challenging. I’m sitting here thinking about it, like was anything challenging for me? Um.. no.. no.. even though I was a little nervous prior, once we got into it.. like I kept on saying, you know, energy energy.. I think because, you know, we knew each other from before, it was like a familiar, you know, a familiar energy. And once the energy started flowing, it just felt fine so nothing felt challenging.. and even when we fumbled or something, we laughed and.. it was.. it was good, you know, so nothing seemed um.. wrong or out of place or um.. oh my god, how’re we going to do this or anything.. it felt just fine. Everything happened as it was supposed to happen.

BROOKLYN: Ah shay, is fumbled a sports reference? Sorry, I don’t know what that means.

PAPI: Fumble *gesturing* I don’t know.. that’s my interpretation of fumble.

BROOKLYN: I say like futbol Americano, I don’t understand.. don’t understand.

PAPI: What about you, anything challenging?

BROOKLYN: I think the only thing that was a little bit challenging was keeping my mouth from your genitalia because you look so good, and I’m so hungry. That was the only thing that was challenging.. but other than that it was great.

SCENE

BROOKLYN: Why do you continue to do porn?

PAPI: I continue to do porn for several reasons. One, I think it’s uh.. it’s my own self journey for like reclaiming my body in a lot of different ways so it’s my choice to do these things so.. that’s a small piece of it. Also, representation. I want to make sure that there’re representations of me in porn, that it looks different, that it’s a different shade, different bodies, different age.. you know, I mean there’s more diversity beyond this body right here, but especially as identifying as like trans.. and having the body that I have identifying as trans, and um.. being brown being um.. you know having the experiences I had in my body, I like.. I want to be representation of it.. um, so that’s another piece. And of course the other piece is you know, we get paid for it and there is money in it., so it is the form of sex work that I do, um.. I’ve done various forms of sex work, and this is the one that I’ve stuck with for the last bit of time here, and it’s a comfy privilege sex work that I like to do.

BROOKLYN: For sure, comfy privilege sex work. Yeah, I mean I think everything, everything you said I can relate to. I believe that we, we as trans people of color need to be involved in organizing for sex workers rights. And I wouldn’t be able to even try to organize for young women or trans people without knowing what I’m getting myself into.. and it is the safest form of sex work practice. It came.. you know, I took a big break and I’ve never worked with anybody aside from Shine because I felt so.. I felt really weird about um.. working with a white director and.. cause I do feel like, you look like me you look like me, and that makes me.. doesn’t make me feel like I’m a product, even though.. I’m a little bit. Also, usually these shoots fund my art work which doesn’t get funded.

PAPI: Right, right.. exactly. Ditto.

BROOKLYN: Yeah, yeah.

PAPI: Pays a little portion of rent that I couldn’t pay.

BROOKLYN: Let’s not even.. let’s not even. I would love to hear advice from you later about how you do what you do.. um, and how you can be successful because I do love all the work that you do aside from the shoots.. your workshops and stuff. Does your family know about what you do?

PAPI: Oh that’s kind of funny because like I haven’t outright told my parents but all my cousins are my friends on facebook.. I mean, seriously. There’s always posts and stuff like that, so I don’t know I think for the most part some of them know but they just don’t say anything, and I’m a big boy.. I’m 41 years old so..

BROOKLYN: *whispers* you’re 41?

PAPI: *whispers* I’m 41. Oh, you have a wood now?

BROOKLYN: No, oh please.. shut up.

PAPI: So I’m at the point now where it’s just like no one can say anything to me because I am living my own life.. I have been living my life for a really long time so, you know.. but uh.. I can’t think of any..

BROOKLYN: Do you have any plans to bring your awesome play parties to the Bay?

PAPI: I was supposed to this trip around but the person who contacted me for foreplay didn’t follow through so..

BROOKLYN: We gotta work it out.

PAPI: Yeah, next time. I will say this, I am always happy to work with Shine and the crew, I think um.. I mean ditto on a lot of the stuff you said as a person of color doing this type of work I think is super super important.. um, to really showcase like people of color and multi-racial scenes that are not um.. you know like focusing on you know, this white persons first scene with a black person or something, making it racialized and stuff. It’s just bodies together, and I love that it’s queer.. and that is a huge broad spectrum, and I really appreciate the work that Shine has done so I’m always happy to come back and do some more work.

BROOKLYN: Yeah, me too. You know, I think something that really bothers me about just the entire queer community and us a New York transplant, that’s the first thing I tell people.. I live in California and the first thing is just like, my name is xy and z and I’m from New York. Do not confuse me as Californian.. no tea no shade.. I just want you to know that Imma be on time. You know and I say what.. and I do what.. and I’m going to say.. but.. I totally forgot..

PAPI: We were giving homage to Shine and her work.

BROOKLYN: Right. I’m so sick of how binary everything is, you know? And something I’ve noticed as I’ve been out as a trans person, since like three months before we met, is how when you’re a masculine center female body person and you take an interest or leniency into women products or even women’s clothing that you’re immediately pushed into a soft butch or a femme category. And I’ve had a lot of trans guys, even at a trans guy support group, that they told me that I was too pretty to be a boy, that I should be a femme. And I was like, this is great I come here for support, you’re awesome. That’s something that I’ve been afraid of.. is like I don’t want to do stuff that puts me in a place of..

PAPI: Right, right.

BROOKLYN: ..of choosing like what my gender identity is.

PAPI: Exactly, exactly.

BROOKLYN: Everyone I’ve ever shot with was another person that was androgynous or trans and that was intentional, that was like super intentional. I’m not into the binary, I don’t like when femmes treat me.. or hit me because I’m not man enough. And I don’t like when studs or butches also do the same because I’m not man enough or femme enough so.. I appreciate that space to be toppy and bratty, and diva and boy.

PAPI: Yeah. Yeah, I have to say that’s what I noticed too in Shine’s films like knowing the people who are in it. You see them masculine in one shoot and in another shoot they’re feminine, and I’m like, I fuckin love it.. that’s fantastic.. that, and also being here that our pronouns were asked and confirmed, and no matter what we look like we get that respect. And that’s kind of not.. that’s kind of difficult to get sometimes especially if you look a little different, it’s like, oh.. they go straight for the pronoun that they assume so I.. that’s definitely something I appreciate.

BROOKLYN: Or even when in the world I think that something people do to relate to me as a trans person is go towards sexism. It’s like, oh so we’re guys so let’s talk about women..

PAPI: Yeah, yeah..

BROOKLYN: Okay, first I’m brown then I’m a feminist and then I’m trans, and it’s like why do I have to put my identity first.. I refuse to fracture my identity. In order for me to be a happy productive person I need to be integrated, so I no longer can be half this or fracture this. I’m a whole person, you know. So it.. and it goes for gender and being a mixed blood kid from immigrant folks. You know, out in America is really easy to be just like, you’re black and you’re this kind of black for this kind of reason and show me a picture of your dad.

PAPI: Right, right, right. Exactly, exactly.

BROOKLYN: So.. anyway, sorry.

PAPI: Tangent.. but that’s okay.

BROOKLYN: Rant..

VOC: Awesome, well that’s cool. Alright, that’s that. Thanks guys.

PAPI: My legs falling asleep.