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Dream Scene Winner: Training Day!

Dream Scene Crash Pad Series

CrashPadSeries and New York Toy Collective have announced the winner of “The Dream Scene” Contest.

Congratulations to Treasure for the winning script, Training Day, to be cast and filmed by CrashPad director Shine Louise Houston in late 2015. Treasure is eligible to receive up to $500 travel stipend from New York Toy Collective towards a trip to San Francisco to be a guest on set and watch their dream scene filmed.

A special Honorable Mention goes to M.T.Richardson for Breaking In.

Thank you to our panel of rockstar judges: Tristan Taormino, Coyote Days, Sex Nerd Sandra, Sara Vibes, Tobi Hill-Meyer, and James Darling, who helped us narrow down the final round of submissions. Thank you to all our contestants. The number of great submissions made choosing a winner very, very hard.

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Ask Lyric: Satisfaction, Long Distance Love, and Introducing Consent.

Lyric Seal Sex and Relationship Advice Slumber Party at Lyric CrashPad Indie Queer Porn

Lyric Explains it All! We’ve launched an ongoing Sex and Relationship Advice column by the one and only Lyric Seal. Comment below or email your questions to listentolyric@gmail.com and they’ll be answered in the next post! Read Lyric’s past posts, on Ask Lyric: Clit Sensitivity and Rebuilding Sexuality, Being Vulnerable, Religious Indoctrination, and Respectful Hollering and Maintaining the Mystery.

Dear Lyric,

Do you think it is possible to be in love with a partner from whom you acknowledge cannot fully satisfy your sexual desires or needs?

— Lover

Lover!

Yes. There are many different voices of mine vying to answer this question. No one can ever tell you that it is not possible to be in love with someone, no matter what kind of love it is. One can be in love with their best friend, a beloved animal, a book, a backyard tree. One can definitely be in love with someone with whom they mutually satisfy sexual needs and desires, and one can be in love with someone with whom they do not have sex at all. I guess my other voices then, have questions for you. What is the other part of your query? Is this person a partner who wants to have sex with you, but with whom you no longer wish, or never did wish, to have sex? Are you partnered and non-monogamous? If this person cannot fully satisfy all your sexual needs and desires (this is often why people branch out into polyamory, in a totally sweet consensual and mutually agreed upon way), do they understand this, and is this a subject that is painful for them, or easy for them to understand? Do you satisfy their sexual needs and desires? My first answer to your question is yes. And the next answer is, if the current arrangement does not feel good to you or to them, then even if you are in love something needs to change. It is okay to be in love with someone, and to have a partnership not make sense, or to need to hone what partnership looks like to suit both of your needs! However, if you do feel good with your partner, then, yes, please goddess by all means of course it is possible to be in love with someone and be with someone who cannot satisfy all your sexual needs and desires. This is a large feat for many of us! People are iridescent creatures, how they move us or satisfy us, can change with light and time.

xo Lyric


Dear Lyric,
How to have unfinished romantic business and move forward with a big juicy brave heart? The one I love who is already 1500 miles away from me is moving overseas. I don’t have the money to go see him before he does, and vice versa. How can I go on? All I want to do is slink into a pool of blood and slime.
- Brave and Juicy

Brave and Juicy!

Oh my friend. To be honest, blood and slime can be quite great temporary homes for marination and reflection. I think you’re probably a creative person, has the slime produced any beautiful work yet? You are already juicy and brave and full of heart to want to attempt such a thing. You are already doing well. And you had someone who loves you and likely still does and you will in fact find love again, quicker and more mysteriously than you expected. The universe is sometimes careless and helpless, but it is also generous, and fecund with love. If you are not a restless sleeper, tuck pillows around your body at night. Hug yourself tight. Sing. It doesn’t matter the sound. Breathe. Read about love no matter the pangs it gives you at first. Write letters to your love if you want but remember as you write a love letter that you are also writing it to yourself. Believe in yourself. Smile when you think something/someone is pretty. I’m sorry. I empathize. I’m so glad you left some romantic business unfinished, because it never gets finished anyway. Give yourself room. You’re doing great.

xo Lyric



Dear Lyric,
How can I make it clear to cis boys I’m about to fuck that it’s really unsexy for me if they don’t ask for consent? I can’t tell you how little I’ve had cis boys actually ask this Q. I think there are plenty of ways to show your consent without being asked, and as sure as I am when I’m given those signs about what I want, as soon as they read my body or words it makes it easy for them. Which scares me. Do I really want it? Confusing.
- Consensual Contender

Consensual Contender!

Gosh, I empathize with the confusing experience of navigating the amorphous world of giving and receiving nonverbal consent in a hook up context. I wish that I had a fully formed, foolproof solution, but there are ways to establish a system and a practice for yourself of laying down the law in regards to your body, prior to a hook-up. Write down for yourself what you really like and what you might like. Establish for yourself what are delicate areas of your body. Remember that just because you tell someone they can handle one part of you, does not give them license to all of you! You get to have every say about how and when someone touches you! And you’re allowed to be confused sometimes! Since you are asking specifically about cis boys I imagine that either these are the folks you are looking to have sex with right now, or that they are some of the folks you have sex with and are simply the ones giving you the most trouble. I’m sorry. I get the feeling of not wanting to give away too much too quickly, especially with cis men and especially with a hook up — having someone you don’t necessarily trust feel self assured about how they can or do have access to your body can be really yucky, confusing, and triggering.

So! Let’s start with the environment that you’re fucking in. Do you feel safe there? Do you hook-up in your home or at parties? I think that controlling your environment if you have the ability to do so is a good first step, and if you cannot do that, controlling your substances. It is much, much easier to set clear boundaries with another person if both people are not inebriated. In fact I would argue it is almost impossible to set boundaries with someone you don’t know well if either of you are under the influence of anything. If this is someone you know well, that decision is entirely up to both of you. If you are feeling clear-headed and you feel comfortable in your surroundings, then I would start by verbalizing boundaries as soon as attention moves in a maybe sexy direction. This can be before you even make-out! Say to this person, “I would like to engage in some amount of sexy time with you, but I want to make it clear that no sexual act is guaranteed. I would like you to ask my permission for every way that you touch me. If you want a door to open, you need to knock first. I think asking each other is really hot. How do you like to be touched?”

I know that for some people, this will be the first time that they have ever been asked this or spoken to this way. If it blows their mind, so be it. If it kills the mood for them, then they are not worth it! Seriously. You feeling safe and sexy and listened to, is way more important than someone else getting off without checking in to make sure you feel good about what is happening. You are also allowed to change your mind at any time during any sexual act. I’ve been there, hooking up with people that don’t get what consent really feels like and it’s not a good look. Lose ‘em! Trust your instincts. If someone can’t get down with boundaries you set verbally prior to sex, then chances are they will cross your boundaries physically too. And sex without consent not only isn’t sexy, it’s not sex at all.

xo Lyric


There are no questions in the lands of love and lust too narrow or too vast. Keep it coming babes! I’m listening. Comment below or email listentolyric@gmail.com to ask your questions! You can also contact via Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram (selkiesonthetide).

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Ask Lyric: Disability, Gender, and Erotic Self-Esteem

Lyric Seal Sex and Relationship Advice Slumber Party at Lyric CrashPad Indie Queer Porn

Lyric Explains it All! We’ve launched an ongoing Sex and Relationship Advice column by the one and only Lyric Seal. Comment below or email your questions to listentolyric@gmail.com and they’ll be answered in the next post! Read Lyric’s past posts, on Ask Lyric: Clit Sensitivity and Rebuilding Sexuality, Being Vulnerable, Religious Indoctrination, and Respectful Hollering and Maintaining the Mystery.

Dear Lyric,

I’m a disabled AFAB genderqueer, who, among other things, got diagnosed with CFS/ME. This illness is quite disabling and affects energy levels, plus it can easily became more severe if one does excessive efforts (those usually lead to a delayed reaction, so pacing must be done and it’s not easy to know when an effort will be too much). I’m still trying to figure out how will I go about having sex with these issues, trying to come to terms with sex having to be a lot calmer and lower rhythm than just two years ago, and specially trying to figure out how to find partners that are ok with it (and me not feeling like I’m a deception for sex not being as energetic as they, and I, would like it to be). I was already struggling with my dysphoria, being closeted as genderqueer in a small community with majority of cis lesbians. I’m not monogamous and just want occasional encounters, difficult as it is here. How can I go about rebuilding a sexuality as a disabled transgender person and finding the right kind of sexual partners, recovering my erotic self-esteem, etc?

I always read you, love your wisdom and cheerfulness! Thanks for being here for us!

— Keerky

Keerky!

Mmmmmmm! Such thought for food. I’m proud of you for asking yourself those questions, and thank you for sharing them with me.

First, a meditation and reminder: we are rebuilding a home for our sexuality, or even just our sensuality and hope for moments of embodied satisfaction and pleasure, our whole damn lives. Remember that you are not behind. You are doing the work, and you are worth it.

Every time our body changes, it is something to contend with and adjust to. Having a body which is marginalized early on, experiencing dysphoria for multiple layering reasons, having our bodies change or become disabled in new or different ways as adults — what a learning curve!

Our society tells us to fight our changing bodies, to mask illness or aging or fatigue. I am glad you are asking the questions which show already that you are on a path towards loving and accepting the new ways, speeds, rhythms, and intensities at which you need to move in order to feel good and use the beautiful energy that you have well.

I know that, personally, when I get used to one difficulty, nuance, complication, limitation, or function of my disability and body, it is really rough for a little while when I have a new injury, or when I notice that certain activities fatigue me more than they used to. For instance, I have a strong right arm, but my wrist and fingers have a tendency to cramp, atrophy, and spasm. This means that while I can marathon jack, I can’t necessarily marathon fuck with my fingers or hand. This was not something that I knew how to talk about without taking time with casual hookups, so mostly bottomed in those situations.

I didn’t start really communicating thoroughly about what kind of sex I can and like to have, or like to imagine I’m having while my body does things a little differently, until I started performing in porn. For me, porn was an attack on my disassociation from my lived experience. The other aid, was writing. Writing my sexuality out. Dialoguing. Draw a new map of your body for yourself. You can never do this too many times. You know what can be a really wonderful way to engage casual non-monogamous dates about your desires, what you can do and can’t do, what you would like to say you are doing while meanwhile your mortal body does a beautiful translation of these words? Sexting.

Sexting with my now primary partner and deep love, while we were still casually dating, taught me soooo much about my own sexuality, how it ebbs and flows, how my gender changes, how my body works and what will make it not work, and how to communicate this to another person, no matter our level of intimacy. Thank you so much for the lovely things you said about my blog and my articulation! That is another aspect of words I would recommend: reading! Do like fairytales? Memoirs? At times that I have been most scared about my own body, possible foes, and the road ahead, I have picked an outfit that made me feel beautiful and safe, gone outside with a book with a weirdo hero in it, fact or fiction doesn’t matter, and imagined that I was getting on my horse and that I would live to look and learn and ride another day. You are brave. No matter what, you are brave. At the moment I am going to recommend Sex and Disability edited by Robert McGruer and Anna Mollow, Ring of Fire (zines or anthology) by ET Russian (fka Hellery Homosex), anything by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha ever, The End of San Francisco by Matthilda Bernstein Sycamore, Lessons in Taxidermy by Bee Lavender, Jazz by Toni Morrison (for one of the best descriptions of not being able to picture your own body having sex I’ve ever heard), Pride and Pain by Eli Clare, and on the changeable bodies in the fairytale world: Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins by Emma Donoghue and The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter.

As you are navigating communicating lovingly, firmly, patiently, and accurately about yourself and your sexuality with new dates and lovers, make sure you are also carving out sexual time with you yourself and you. This can look like lying on whatever surface is comfortable with music and candles or strings lights and breathing into the nooks and crannies of yourself. This could sound like talking dirty to yourself. This could smell like taking off your own underwear and noticing, just noticing you and letting it turn you on.

Give yourself room to experiment and let others know that you are learning and relearning about your body and sexuality and how it all fits with new information you have about your gender and your disability and your desires. If they are worth having sex with, they will be willing to learn, even for a night, and they will probably even admit that they are learning about themselves too.

Don’t settle for less, even from a casual date. You can have a hot jerk off session without them, for real. You are never a deception. I know that as trans people and disabled people, we get used to hearing that we are not what somebody expected. But guess what? We are a beautiful surprise. And next time, they better get themselves ready.

The right kinds of sexual partners will not necessarily do everything right all at once, but will have room for their own growth. And they will ask questions, and they will listen. And chances are, they will have more than one body nuance of their own. I think that verbose and free and queerly used dating sites like OkCupid are great because you get to say a lot about yourself and read a lot about a person. I also wouldn’t rule out Tumblr flirting, or meeting someone at a really good party, at a museum, on the street. Chance occasional encounters are just that — chance and occasional — but don’t get discouraged! And don’t worry about limiting yourself by having high standards. Build your body love by writing and speaking and singing your truth to yourself and others and reading and listening to people that share your experience and an ethos and standards around how you want to be treated will follow! We need self-love, and we need standards for how we let others engage with us, we got magic to protect. Please come and visit me anytime, I’ll have more for you when you ask!

xo Lyric


Dear Lyric,
How do you most efficiently waste nonprofit hourly pay?

Please include the most mundane, infuriating-to-boss details should they ever find out.

Luv,
Another Overnight Shift Nonprofit Worker

Heat of the Night Worker!

I would recommend porn perusing, however I have a very real fear of sexual harassment charges, so I’m not really suggesting that. I can’t even visit my own blog at work. But! Perusing high erotic art is a close second and is, I would think, totally fine. In fact, change the desktop photo to something gay. My other suggestions are: write a comical blog documenting everything you do at work, including but not limited to, picking your nose, dancing on chairs, and sexting a cutie. Sexting. I also always recommend sexting. Also if you have a laptop you can totally look at porn. And take gratuitous selfies showing all the emotions of a graveyard shift worker. Call this artistic series, “faces in the heat of the night shift”. Also try to find Stephen King’s mailing or email address and write him solely from work, trying to engage him on the topic of his seminal short story collection: Night Shift. Introduce as many conspiracies theories as possible. Try to get him or his publicist to write you back at work.

xo Lyric



Dear Lyric,
What is sex? What. Is? Sex?
- Anonymous

Sexual Querent!

I don’t know. Sex is a cultural and societal concept that has been commodified and repackaged and sold as many different things. Some say sex is desire, some say sex is biological, some say sex is power. I believe that sex is a medium, an artistic, spiritual, and fleshy one, through which we can learn about ourselves and how we wish to be alive. Sex is not necessarily fucking, and you do not have to fuck frequently or ever at all to be a sexual person. Sex will not liberate us all by itself, because our own personal ethics, conduct, desire, dreams, and perspective.

Sex negativity is valid. Sex positivity is valid. The only thing we have to lose is shame. I think that no matter what sex is, shame is its melancholy, iconic, quiet, elusive, and incredibly important counterpart. Sex also might be Jennifer Lawrence. Or a dinosaur. Let me know if you find out!

xo Lyric


There are no questions in the lands of love and lust too narrow or too vast. Keep it coming babes! I’m listening. Comment below or email listentolyric@gmail.com to ask your questions! You can also contact via Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram (selkiesonthetide).

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Holidays are Awesome!

Pink-White-Holiday-2014
Wishing you happy holidays, and a bright and shining New Year from the gang at Pink & White Productions, PinkLabel.tv and CrashPadSeries.com!

- Shine Louise Houston (Founder/Director), Shae Voyeur (Co-Director), Shawn (Co-Producer/Editor), Jiz Lee (Online Marketing Director), Chris Lowrance (Web Developer), Liz (Accountant), Lex (Videographer), and Tristan Crane (Photographer).

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Our Favorite Things: NSFW Holiday Sex Toy Gift Guide

CrashPadSeries.com Holiday Gift Guide

If you haven’t noticed, we like to have a little fun here at the CrashPad. Performers often script their own scenes, and they also tend to bring their own toys, or pick out a toy from one of our retail sponsors.

Here’s a peek at TWELVE sexy toys that found their way to set this year, from BS Atelier’s colorful dildos to the Spareparts Sasha Harness, New York Toy Collective, all the Safer Sex Supplies we adore from Good Vibrations, and some kinky goods from the Stockroom. And lots, lots more!

1. CUFF LOVE

CrashPadSeries Audrey Doll Liliyana Winchester

Cuffs from Stockroom.com are featured in Episode 168: Audrey Doll & Liliyana Winchester.

2. FEMME COCK

CrashPad Cinnamon Maxxine and Cicatriz

The Outlaw Dildo makes an unforgettable appearance in Episode 169: Cinnamon Maxxine & Cicatriz.

3. TAKE IT TO ELEVEN

CrashPad Emma Claire and Golden Curlz

The Eleven Dildo, featured in Episode 171: Golden Curlz & Emma claire. See also, a glorious paring of Spareparts Jocque Harness and a realistic dildo.

4. TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN

CrashpadSeries Lyric Seal Joey Minx

Grab some Bondage Tape, featured in Episode 172: Lyric Seal & Joey Minx.

5. SHARING IS CARING

CrashpadSeries Vivi Marie Olivia Woods

Sharing really is caring when it comes to the Share Double Dildo, featured in Episode 174: Olivia Woods & Vivi Marie.

6. COVER YOUR EYES

CrashpadSeries Viceroy Indigo Bleu

With the eyes covered, other sensations become so, so much more. Blindfolds, rope, and other kinky toys are featured in Episode 175: Indigo & Viceroy.

7. HARNESS THE LOVE

harriette nyx holly belmont

The Sasha Harness from Spareparts is featured in Episode 177: Harriette Nyx & Holly Belmont.

8. JOCK COCK CUTE

crashpadseries chloe may scarlet faux

Cute overload!BS Atelier’s Sport Dildo is featured in Episode 179: Scarlet Faux and Chloe May.

9. PACKING HEAT

crashpadseries siouxie q ozreal

The Rainbow Dildo from BS Atelier is paired with The Betty from Velvet Nest Harness in Episode 180: Siouxsie Q & Ozrael. (P.S. Here’s a quick lesson on how to pack a cock under a skirt.

10. GOOD TIMES

crashpadseries denali winters jacques lefemme

More BS Atelier goodies are featured Episode 180: Denali Winter and Jacques LeFemme. (And then we created a meme!)

11. HOT DAMN!

crashpadseries robin lalonde cody Snow

We can’t get enough safer sex. This year we began asking performers in their Behind the Scenes Interviews to share their sexual health practices. Between a choice of barriers, testing, and communicated consensual sex, they’ve got it covered! Dental dams and Please Lubricant are represented in Episode 180: Cody Snow & Robin LaLonde.

12. MAGIC WAND? More like Magic Want!

crashpadseries chocolate chip tastee treasures

Our list would not be complete without the most popular sex toy at the CrashPad, the Magic Wand Vibrator. For folks who like it strong, the Magic Wand can’t be beat. And it’s versatile, too. Check out how Chocolate uses it to conduct vibrations through Tastee’s condom-covered silicone dildo. Good just felt even better! Episode 182: Chocolate Chip & Tastee Treastures.

Need more store suggestions? Get toys you love at sex-positive shops like… SheVibe, Feelmore 510, Early to Bed, Smitten Kitten, Good For Her, The Pleasure Chest, Come as You Are, SheBop, Sugar, Babeland, Good Vibrations, ASLAN Leather, Self Serve Toys, The Tool Shed, and Stockroom.

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